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"According to the experts, Bob, a tsunami caused by a large chunk of land falling into the ocean is somewhat different than the more common type caused by an earthquake in the ocean floor. This kind tends to produce a larger wave that can be seen out in the ocean, and in fact spotter planes are on it and following it and estimates put this humongous swell at four hundred to five hundred feet high."

"Five hundred feet? Now that's a monster. I remember when Mickey Mantle was here in the 60s and hit one over the roof that was estimated to be over five hundred feet and possibly as far as five hundred fifty feet, which would be even higher than your tsunami, Ted. Boy, that Mantle could blast 'em. Well, Carson's headed back to the Yankee dugout and O's shortstop Jason Spire steps in to see if he can bring Miller home from second."

"Here's another bulletin, Bob. We're being told this gigantic tsunami is headed for the East Coast of the US and at this point it appears likely it will strike somewhere between Virginia and Boston."

"Whoa, Ted, that's a little too close for comfort. Do they say when it might hit?"

"No, but we can guestimate. Let's say it's four thousand miles away and if it's traveling at five hundred miles per hour that would be about eight hours till landfall, but don't quote me on that."

"That's a little bit of good news. We'll definitely have time to finish this game and still have a few hours for a quick getaway. Bosley throws his fastball and Spire swings through it for a strike. Bosley checks the runner at second, pauses, and throws a slider but Spire was looking for it all the way and pushes a lazy grounder toward first. It's slow enough to enable Miller to make it to third standing up and Spire's out at first but he gets high fives from his teammates for a successful sacrifice moving Miller to third base with only one out."

"Bob, another update has came in. The tsunami now looks like it's headed our way and will make landfall between Virginia and New Jersey, which puts us right near the center of the bull's eye."

"As soon as we finish the bottom of the fourth inning the game will be official and in the books, so if it gets called early it'll still count as a win for the Orioles. I don't imagine there's ever been a game called on account of a tsunami before."

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"I would think not. Our statistician Jerry Phelps has been checking, though. Of course back in the days before night lighting all games were day games and sometimes would have to be called due to darkness. And Jerry informs me there have been a few games called due to mosquitoes or other swarming insects."

"No kidding? I didn't know that."

"Yes, that's happened twice. The bugs were so thick it was hard to see through them and they were getting in the player's eyes and made it impossible to play ball."

"But a tsunami has got to be a first."

"Undoubtedly. Hang on there, Bob, yet another update, though they're being called emergency alerts now. Scientists have calculated that Baltimore and the Washington D.C. area will be ground zero for the tsunami so we are definitely sitting in the crosshairs of this puppy."

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"Wouldn't you know it, Ted, and I just finished paying off my house. I wonder if flood insurance covers tsunamis. I'll have to check the fine print and talk with my agent. OK, Bobby Green, the rookie sensation this year, takes a hack at a big Bosley curve ball and pops it up in fair territory. Woodall comes racing out from behind the plate and signals for it and now it's two out with a man on third. Bosley seems settled down and if can get a third out here he'll have minimized the damage and held the Orioles to one run."

"Speaking of damage, Bob, it's being estimated that a wave of this size, if it holds its present speed and course, could surge as far as one hundred miles inland or even farther, demolishing everything in its path."

"I wonder what the O's would do if Oriole's Park gets knocked out by the tsunami? They could always use their spring training facilities in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, as a short term solution, though they'd definitely have to add thousands of more seats to accommodate the fans."

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Leni Matlin was born in NYC and attended Brooklyn College before moving to California in his twenties. For the better part of his adult life, he has worked as a musician (keyboards / vocals) and played in more bands then he can remember, while (more...)
 

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shows the truth in ways a bald statement wouldn't.... by Archie on Tuesday, Sep 25, 2012 at 1:15:25 PM