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Look for the Union Bunny

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"I see your point," I said, feeling a little sorry for the bunnies. "What are your other demands?"

"A decent living wage and a hutch of our own," said the executive secretary. "No more of this lettuce stuff. We want cold hard cash. Just like what those religious folks put in the collection plates once a year."

"That seems fair," I responded. "Are there other demands?"

"You bet your union card there are," said Bunny. "We want a 50-week work year, with two weeks vacation; that's still fewer vacation days than in most civilized countries. We want nine paid holidays, reasonable sick leave, maternity and day care benefits, medical and dental insurance--do you realize dentists charge us double because of the size of our incisors?--and a prohibition against using us for cosmetic testing."

"But Easter is only one day a year," I said. "Certainly you can't expect Easter every day."

"What's so bad about that? Look what it'll do for the egg, Peeps, and clothing industries. If Easter was every day we'd soon have full employment."

"What about religion? Wouldn't the Church have objections?"

"Why should it? Look at all those people who'd be going to church and putting all that money in the collection plate."

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"You certainly have a point," I said, admiring Bunny's determination. "Are there other demands?"

"Other than membership in the Bunny Club, rigorous enforcement of safety standards, and a better employee grievance procedure--no."

"You're willing to disappoint all the children just because some adults are insensitive to worker needs?"

We don't want to harm the children. They haven't learned how to be bought off to be effective politicians."

"So you will deliver Easter eggs this week!" I said, thrilled that the bunny union was relenting.

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"This is off-the-record, but this year everyone will get their eggs. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to preparing for a demonstration."

As I left, Solomon P. Bunny was slashing through contracts, and multi-tasking on three different phones and two computer screens. But, he warned if the rotten eggs of some of the state legislatures and their buddies in corporate industry don't stop pretending how religious and patriotic they are, while consistently violating the principles that Jesus stood for, "this will be the last Easter they will ever celebrate."

[Walter Brasch is a social activist and award-winning journalist who has been a member of unions for four decades. His current book is the best-selling Fracking Pennsylvania, an in-depth investigation into the health, environmental, economic, political, and worker safety issues of hydraulic horizontal fracturing.]

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Walter Brasch is an award-winning journalist and professor of journalism emeritus. His current books are Before the First Snow: Stories from the Revolution , America's Unpatriotic Acts: The Federal Government's Violation of (more...)

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