Article: Jon Stewart's Epic Rant Against CNBC Transcript

Jon Stewart: I just said that! Because when it comes to business news, you probably can't name another network. Bloomburg. Ok, got it. So, to all you 'dumbass homeowners' out there, who let your optimism and bad judgment blind you into accepting money that was offered to you from banks, educate yourselves.

CNBC Mad Money Host Jim Cramer: Bear Stearns is fine. Do not take your money out. If there's one takeaway other than the plus 400 - it's that Bear Stearns is not in trouble.

[Bear Stearns went under six days later.]

CNBC Power Lunch Host: Charlie we talked about this yesterday, Lehman Brothers is no Bear Stearns.

Guest: I would concur with Charlie that you can't Bear management and Lehman management, Lehman management is incredibly engaged and responsive.

[Lehman Brothers went under three months later.]

CNBC Faber Report Host: Will Merrill need to raise capital? No. That continues to be the refrain from management, from Mr. Thain, they raised 12.8 billion in capital. Remember, 4.2 billion of that was excess capital, no need to raise additional capital says Merrill Lynch.

[Five months later, Merrill Lynch ran out of capital. It is now owned by Bank of America.]

Jim Cramer: The Bank of America is now the cheapest and the best, and I have to admit that, as much as I like Wachovia, I think Bank of America is going to 60 in a heartbeat.

[As of today, Bank of America trades under $4.00.]

This morning in New York, AIG gave some insight into how much they owe, and how much they may lose, what they're saying right now is that the sub-prime losses or their exposure or whatever's going to happen to them is very manageable. Does it mean that they're not going to go bankrupt, does it mean, obviously they're not. They're the biggest insurance company and they're well capitalized.

[Federal bailout money for AIG: $85 billion in September, $37.5 billion more in October, $30 billion more on Monday....to be continued...]

Jon Stewart: It's not rocket science homeowners. It's apparently alchemy. You just had to tune in to CNBC's shows like Fast Money and Squawk Box: reasoned financial reporting that combines the raw speed of fast money with the intelligence of a box of parrots.

You just had to know how to listen.

Jim Cramer: You should be buying things and accept that they're over-valued but accept that they're going to keep going higher, I know that sounds irresponsible, but that's how you make the money.

[October 31, 2007 Dow: 13,930]

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