When someone simply reacts without thinking about it, that is just like reading a script that someone else wrote. He turns himself into a puppet, giving up his freedom to choose, when he reacts by default. The one who chooses to act nicer, especially when it is not called for, is creating his very own script, by choosing to act on purpose. That is where the power is. It is in choosing to respond in a better way when you are in a situation that isn’t working. On purpose. You don’t have to act nice to the other person because THEY deserve it. You can act nice to them because YOU deserve it. You deserve to give yourself the option to act like a nice person, no matter what others choose.
NOW, DON’T SPEAK TO YOUR BROTHER LIKE THAT! THAT’S JUST WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT! IF YOU CAN'T SAY SOMETHING NICE, DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL.
Your problem is that you both would rather be right, than be happy.
Well, let me tell you, no one is right when fighting is involved. No one. Do you understand me? Fighting is not the civilized way to work things out. Furthermore, it is not acceptable in this house.
So, I am giving you both a Time Out so you can think about this.
STOP THAT, NOW! DO YOU WANT SOME CHEESE WITH THAT WHINE, BUSTER?
You two can either act like babies or you can act like you are growing up. Honestly, boys. Neither of you has to be a victim. So stop pointing at the other one and blaming him. When you point the finger, three fingers point back at you. This is not about whose fault it is, this is about making peace. I am not saying that what the other one did is right or wrong. No. I am just saying that you can choose to be the better man, and start to change the way you respond, starting in any moment in time.
STOP THAT FIGITING WHEN I AM SPEAKING TO YOU. DO YOU HAVE ANTS IN YOUR PANTS?
Listen to me. You have seen Mommy and Daddy dance together, right? The reason dancing makes us both happy, is because we are co-operating with each other. Cooperation feels good. Dancing isn’t very much fun if you don’t cooperate.
And cooperation doesn’t mean you are “giving in” to the other person. It just feels good inside, to be a cooperative person.
LOOK AT ME WHEN I AM TALKING TO YOU, YOUNG MAN.
You know what? When Mommy and Daddy dance, sometimes one of us makes a mistake, or gets a little out of step with the music. And that’s where the other partner has a choice. They can do the so-called “correct” dance step—which doesn’t help the dance get back on track. Or, they can change their dance steps just a little, in order to help balance out the dance again. Then both partners can get back in step together and have fun. That’s cooperation.
Life is like a dance. It’s about cooperation and having fun. Trust me, you will both be much happier when you work this out. And I want you both to feel happy. You’ll feel better, and, so will the whole family.
Now, I can’t figure this all out for you, you have to do most of it for yourselves. But I am going to help you.
So, Israel, you are going to sit in that corner. Palestine, you are going to sit in the other corner. I want both of you boys to bring a pad and pencil with you. You two are just going to sit there, and think up three good things about the other one, and write them down.
STOP IT WITH THOSE LOOKS, ALREADY! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR FACES TO FREEZE THAT WAY?
