General News

Humor: Obama Has His Favored Criminals

By (about the author)     Permalink       (Page 2 of 2 pages)
Related Topic(s): ; ; ; , Add Tags Add to My Group(s)

View Ratings | Rate It Headlined to H3 7/8/09

Become a Fan
  (46 fans)
- Advertisement -

The President shook his head. "It won't wash. Your client stays in until 2018."

I leaned forward and pleaded, "But now that you're in the White House, Alphonse has promised he'll never to do it again."

The President removed the gum he was chewing, reached into his shirt pocket and lit a cigarette. "This is between us..." he smiled. I nodded vigorously.

"Mr. President," I continued, "I think you said recently this is a time for reflection, not retribution."

A smile of pleasure wreathed the President's face as he exhaled.

As forcefully as I could, I pressed, "Didn't you also say 'Nothing will be gained by spending our time and energy laying blame for the past'?"

"He did what he did," the President said.

"Then I'm the one who should be in Joliet," I said. The president looked surprised. "I'm the lawyer for the organization that ran Alphonse. I wrote the opinion that okayed importing cigarettes over the State line. Alphonse did it based on my say-so. How can you make him suffer for taking erroneous legal advice?"

- Advertisement -

The President shook his head, then patted his shirt pocket and asked, "Pardon me, would you like a cigarette?"

"No thanks, Mister President. Uh, did I hear you use the word 'pardon?'"

"No you didn't," he chuckled, and pointed to his watch. Time for me to go.

"Look," I said, taking one last, desperate swing. "My client Al Capone will never, I swear on my Mother's honor, will never harm another soul. If you free him, I promise he will never go around the world assassinating political leaders, poisoning sugar crops, overthrowing governments or torturing prisoners. I promise you, the man is reformed."

The president crushed his cigarette in an ashtray: "So how can we use him?"

- Advertisement -


(Sherwood Ross is a Miami-based writer who formerly worked for the Chicago Daily News and as a columnist for wire services. Reach him at

Next Page  1  |  2


Sherwood Ross worked as a reporter for the Chicago Daily News and contributed a regular "Workplace" column for Reuters. He has contributed to national magazines and hosted a talk show on WOL, Washington, D.C. In the Sixties he was active as public (more...)

Share on Google Plus Submit to Twitter Add this Page to Facebook! Share on LinkedIn Pin It! Add this Page to Fark! Submit to Reddit Submit to Stumble Upon

Go To Commenting

The views expressed in this article are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.

Writers Guidelines

Contact Author Contact Editor View Authors' Articles
Google Content Matches:
- Advertisement -

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

U.S. Overthrow in the Ukraine Risks Nuclear War With Russia

Radioactive Ammunition Fired in Middle East May Claim More Lives Than Hiroshima and Nagasaki

Obama Expands the American Warfare State


Is George W. Bush Sane?

Inside America's Biological Warfare Center


The time limit for entering new comments on this article has expired.

This limit can be removed. Our paid membership program is designed to give you many benefits, such as removing this time limit. To learn more, please click here.

Comments: Expand   Shrink   Hide  
No comments