There are two candidates trying desperately to win the votes
of guys who wouldn't touch either one of them with a ten-foot pole.
Can anyone really imagine either candidate going into a honky-tonk bar to do some campaigning?
The two lawyers from the Harvard-Yale axis back east are
trying to convince the good ole boys to vote for either one of the two who
would be called "slick" in a bar that plays C&W music on the jukebox.
Do you really think that a guy with a horse that participates in dressage competitions can sing the lyrics to "I turned 21 in prison doing life without parole"?
The other guy tries to debate as if it is an exercise in etiquette. He should listen to the words of "Colorado Kool-Aid" and then tell Mitt that he should wear his knife-proof earmuffs to the next debate.
Seeing Harvard-Yale lawyers trying to mix with just plain
folks in the local diner is theater of the absurd cubed.
Either one of them would do better to imitate the English poet who was regarded as "mad, bad, and dangerous to know," than to pretend they might qualify for votes from the "Ladies Love Outlaws" crowd.
In a bar with Waylon and Willie's song "Clean Shirt" on the
jukebox, could Bishop Romney really carry it off if he ordered sarsaparilla? That would be fun to watch.
When will either the Romney or the Obama campaigns release the tie-breaking photos of the candidate clearing brush on his ranch?
Luckily the electronic voting machines can take all these
various factors into consideration before awarding an indisputable result to
the eagerly waiting journalists around the globe.
In "Kingdom of Fear," Hunter S. Thompson wrote: "On some nights I still believe that a car with the gas needle on empty can run about fifty more miles if you have the right music very loud on the radio."
Now, the disk jockey will crank up the volume and play: Tony and the Bandits' song "I can't lose," the Partridge Family's song "Something's wrong," and the Grateful Dead's song "Throwing Stones." We have to go be one of the million and a half visitors in San Francisco this weekend. Have a "this must be bat country" type week.
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