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Fun With Dennis (Prager That is)

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"Given our preoccupation with politics and economics," Prager writes, "it is easy to forget that for most of us micro issues play a greater role in our lives. So here are some thoughts that, as heretical as they might sound, have been found extremely helpful, sometimes even marriage-saving, from listeners to my radio show, which features a "male-female hour" each week."

Now what "micro issue" might Prager be alluding to during these intimate "male-female" hours? He lays out his central thesis in the beginning of Part Two.

"In Part l I made the the argument that any woman who is married to a good man and who wants a happy marriage ought to consent to at least some form of sexual relations as much as possible," adding "Men need to understand that intercourse should not necessarily be the goal of every sexual encounter."

Great. Now we've got the Christian equivalent of a Craigslist ad -- "CWF, ddf, jo/bj" -- and it gets better.

"In Part ll, I advance the argument that a wife should do so even when she is not in the mood for sexual relations."

No doubt this is where the "jo/bj" part of the equation "arises", but Prager has the audacity to rationalize the whole thing as one would with a small child.


"What if your husband woke up one day and announced that he was not in the mood to go to work?" he announces so smarmily that you want to smack him as he then lays out the "eight reasons for a woman not to allow not being in the mood for sex to determine whether she denies her husband sex."

Scratching your head yet? Well, Dennis isn't scratching his.

First we've got the "If we wait until you're in the mood we'll wait forever" clause -- which neatly wraps up the libido issue -- before we confront Reason ll: "Why would a loving, wise woman allow mood to determine whether or not she will give her husband one of the most important expressions of love she can show?" Why she wouldn't never quite comes into play.

As we progress Dennis deplores women's feelings of elevated status, the decline of personal obligation, the idealism of women and their feelings, the idea of hypocrisy and the sex act and the concept of "doing it anyway" before his big summation -- "it's always "a bad idea to let mood determine behavior". Stopping just short of "On your knees, woman!" Prager then finishes with a flourish:

"... a woman will be rewarded many times over outside the bedroom (and if her man is smart, inside the bedroom as well)" -- wink, wink, nudge, nudge -- "with a happy, open, grateful, loving and faithful husband. That is a prospect that should get any rational woman in the mood more often."

Now ladies, if that don't get you all hot and bothered, nothing will. And as you leave the building with Dennis hectoring you about deprivation and self-abuse (rather spousal abuse) -- no matter what your therapist says -- please try to remember the columnist is just trying to be nice.

And that's why I love Dennis Prager.

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Tom Aiken is a writer based in Austin, Texas. He has written for numerous publications including The Village Voice, Heavy Metal amd M'Zine (RIP). Mr. Aiken also has a spanking new blog -- AikenLand -- for publication of his more unpublishable work. (more...)
 
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