OpEdNews - Page 2 of Article: Fahrenheit 298

"Don't you understand? You are pointing out errors! You idiots, you're a bunch of f*cking morons!" I decided right then and there that I was adding another ten bucks to the cardiac pool, because at this rate Jimmy wouldn't be with us much longer and next month was my month in the pool.

So I asked innocently, "What's wrong with it?"

Thunder and lighting, earthquakes and volcano eruptions, "If the White Sox lost 10 to 2 it implies that errors were made! Are you too dense to understand that?"

"Well, Jimmy, if they lost 10 to 2 it not only implies errors were made, it just about guarantees it."

"Didn't you read the sign? Can't you understand the sign? Do you want to hurt us and our supporters?"

"I'm not trying to hurt anyone, Jim. I'm just pointing out the dang score because that's what the folks want to hear."

"But you are wrong, Winston. The people don't want to hear the score; they want us to tell them the score. And do you know what the score is, Winston?"

"Lay it on me, Jim, I'm all ears!"

"The score is good!" he explained.

"Okay, Mr. Shofenpoolskimmer. How would you rewrite the headline?"

"Simple, my dear Winston. The White Sox Played a Good Game Today!"

"That is a dandy headline, Mr. Shofenschoolspecial. But what are you really telling people?"

"Yes, Winston, I see the light bulb inside your mind has come on. Yes indeed, what are we telling the people? You are so close, Winston, but now invert that thought. The question, Winston, is what we are not telling them.

"We are not telling them about errors! Admitting errors hurts the team! Do you just want to hurt the team? Telling them that the team they love and support lost because the pitcher couldn't get the ball over the plate or the first baseman let an easy grounder go between his legs hurts the team!"

"I don't know about that, Mr. Shofencaryskinner. Maybe if you mention to folks that the team has a weak pitcher or a lousy first baseman then maybe the team would go out and find some better players. Then we could win more games and I could write headlines with words in them like 'stomped' and 'crushed,' and maybe a little 'kicked ass' thrown in for good measure."

"You don't understand at all, Winston. It is not about how many games you manage to win; it is about how many winnings you manage to game. You think the score is up there on that board out in center field, don't you? The score is whatever we tell them it is. When we win it is because they donated money and rang door bells, and when we lose it is because they didn't give enough money and didn't ring enough door bells."

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