It doesn't matter if you can write poetry or fix the plumbing, you're a bum! Even serial killers on death row have girlfriends, but not bums. Maybe I should try that angle on Craigslist. "I killed my family with a hatchet and now I'm looking for a long term relationship with a nice girl. (non-smoker)
Don't laugh, try telling them you're a bum!
Somehow the sexual revolution skipped a beat, women can be doctors and lawyers and Supreme Court Justices but men are still expected to kill the dinosaur and bring home the bronto-burgers or he's a bum. Even the ads that say they want to walk in the park or watch the stars at night don't want to do it with a bum. I guess its best we just keep our hands on our own side of the fence, less likely to get bit that way.
Come the first of the year, I might be homeless again and we shall see how much I've learned from my bum apprenticeship. Just one more bum in a nation filled with bums. Teacher bums, grandmother bums, salesman bums, writer bums and the greatest of all of America's bums, the political bums. Without America's political bums there probably wouldn't be half as many of us regular bums around.
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