Blaming anything other than that for the rise of Ayatollah Khomeini and radical Islam in Iran, turning it into an Islamic theocracy and leading to the American embassy takeover and hostage crisis in 1979, takes really big balls too.
It takes equally large balls to keep referring to Israel as the only democracy in the region without coming clean and acknowledging that America purposely destroyed the only other democracy in the region.
America claimed the Taliban as “allies” in the War on Drugs prior to 9/11, giving them millions of dollars while ignoring their human rights atrocities. Then after 9/11 the U.S. bombed the bejeesus out of them. Big balls and smart bombs. And that’s especially ballsy considering most of the 9/11 hijackers were from Saudi Arabia and most ten-year-olds know bin Laden, if still alive, is hiding out in Pakistan yet America does nothing to either country. Matter of fact Pakistan gets a billion dollars a year to help find bin Laden! That’s mutually ballsy!
America kept Saddam in power, supplied Saddam, and helped him use chemical weapons on both the Iranians and his own people. Then, when ballsy Neocons were done with him, they claimed he had WMDs, was responsible for 9/11 and was about to attack Cleveland with “nucular” missiles unless America and its tiny-balled coalition invaded his country and demanded regime change.
Wow, it even gets worse than that. There’s just too much here to contend with. Mission Accomplished; bring ‘em on; torture; evidence of blatant lies as a case to start an unnecessary war; the actual term War on Terror – that’s just full-out balls! But there’s more. The Patriot Act; the unprecedented number of presidential signing statements; suspension of habeas corpus; erosion of Constitutional rights for citizens – not just targeted or suspected terrorists, citizens – law-abiding ones(!!) – These are just legendary in terms of ballsyness. And that’s just the tip of a gigantic nutsack-shaped iceberg that, ironically if it was literal rather than figurative, would be melting at this very moment because America also will not officially acknowledge Global Warming like the sane countries in the world!
And we can’t forget Cheney! He claims executive privilege or the autonomy of existing in a gray area somewhere outside the three branches of government whenever there is the slightest possibility of any oversight. That’s just pure pacemaker-powered balls! But let’s not overlook discriminating, by policy, against a whole group of citizens, while not only giving your daughter a pass but refusing to field the question in a public interview by claiming it’s out of line. That’s ballsy enough, but shooting someone in the face, then calmly having dinner and going to sleep until you sober up is the public exhibition of tremendous-sized balls that most of us cannot even imagine! They don’t make pants big enough for balls that size!
And now America hypocritically threatens Russia. It takes balls to poke a bear with a stick. America, bastion of freedom, allows Georgia to level South Ossetia. The U.S. forced Russia to accept an independent Kosovo, but it lets Georgia pound civilians to dust and criticizes Russia for stopping it. Worse, it allows the so-called liberal mainstream U.S. media to blatantly lie and call it Russian aggression so knotheads can wave the flag and foment war against “them expansionist commie Rooskies.” That’s almost the epitome of balls, but not quite.
Keeping an obsolete NATO alive and adding to it many of the countries it was formed to defend against in the event of Soviet aggression is a balls-out move if there ever was one. Then America pokes the bear with a stick again by putting missiles in Poland despite Russian concerns for their territorial defense against what they, and many others in the world, see as an imperialist power with expansionist tendencies. And if the idiots in power could have their way today, they’d put missiles right inside Georgia, right on Russia’s border. Even Cuba was ninety miles away and separated from America by water. And THAT takes unequivocally huge balls, so large they can probably be seen from space.
Good thing we have the distraction of international camraderie and peace through competition at the Olympics. Unfortunately for America, tiny Chinese gymnasts beat the snot out of bigger tiny American gymnasts. And of course, audacity like that just had to prompt complaints of cheating. They are, after all, commies and speak a funny language.
Mark my words, someday America will produce a twelve-year-old gymnast who is hands down the best in the world and ‘Mericans and the so-called liberal mainstream American media will howl about how unfair it is that the American gymnast, clearly the greatest in the world, will not be allowed to compete against the Chinese, the Russians, the French, you pick ‘em, whatever country happens to be the most hated villains in the world that year as decided by the greedy, power-mongering morons who have seized control of the United States. And that act and all acts like it will continue the rich tradition of displaying to the world, in all their glory, America’s big brass balls.
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Frank Silva is a SAG/AFTRA actor, writer, former social studies teacher and retired army reserve officer.
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