16 Let your riches be as a vampire squid, that they will draw to you even more wealth than even thine own father could ever have dreamt of.
17 Think not that I have come to destroy the Fox/Randian temple or drive out its disciples, I am not come to prosecute, but to invest!
18 For verily I say onto you, till all the oil runs out, not one poor man's son or daughter shall escape war till all wealth derived is funneled onto you.
19 Whosoever therefore shall renounce his wealth and shall encourage others of my Chosen to do the same, he shall be called a heretic and shunned by all who worship in my temple, but whosoever shall swindle even their fellow disciples shall be called the greatest Wizard of Wall Street ever.
20 For I say unto you, that except your greed exceed the greed of all your brethren, ye shall in no case continue to be heralded on the sacred covers of Forbes, but be banished from the Kingdom.
21 Ye have heard that it was said of them of old times, Thou shalt not share wealth; and whosoever shall share shall be in danger of banishment from the Temple of Ayn Rand,
22 but I say unto you that whosoever will not usurp the wealth of his own brother shall be in danger of banishment; and whosoever shall say to his brother, don't buy these worthless mortgage-backed securities, shall be in danger of Wall Street's purge; yet whosoever shall warn his brother shall be in danger of becoming one with the unwashed useless eaters.
23 Therefore, if thou bring thy gift to a politician and learn that thy brother has bribed that same politician before thee,
24 double thy bribe and go thy way after extracting the additional funds from thy brother, and then present thy fatter bribe.
25 Defraud thine adversary quickly, while thou art in the way with him, lest he shaft you first and rat you out to the Feds.
26 Verily I say onto you, thou shalt by no means escape the Feds till thou pay a fine that, no matter how small, nevertheless shall make you wonder that prison may have been the cheaper route.
27 Ye have heard it said by them of the old times, thou shalt not breed with a unwashed useless eater,
28 but I say unto you that whosoever looketh on a servant and lusts after her is entitled to grope all of her most intimate places and even rape her as ye are among those blessed with wealth enough to buy her silence or retain the finest lawyers.
29 And if one of your brethren offend thee, bankrupt him and cast him out; for it is even more profitable to thee if there are ever fewer of the 1 percent until ye are the very last wealthy man on Earth, the sole owner of everything on the planet.
30 And if thy offspring offend thee by sympathizing with the unwashed masses of useless eaters, cast the offender out, for it is wise wealth protection to disinherit thy own children than to have them share a dime of what wealth you accrued after you die.
31 It hath been said, whosoever shall wish to marry, let him first compel her sign an airtight prenuptial to protect his riches,