Attack of the Zucchini People

"I got it! If we can't eat them all or give them away, we'll just randomly abandon them on peoples front porches and run!"

"Yeah!" I agreed maliciously. "If we can't give them away, we'll force our zucchinis on an unsuspecting world". ah-hahahahahhahahaha! (Evil laugh)"

It was then that I realized that Marie and I had descended into the dark sinister world of the zucchini people.

A sober thought occurred briefly, "Isn't there some kind of government funded aid agency that could charge us with improper treatment of vegetables? This is Canada after all. Couldn't we get into trouble with the law?" I sniveled meekly.

"Probably." Marie responded. "But, only if we get caught. We'll wear clever disguises and do it under cover of night. They'll never know it was us. Ah-hahahahahahahahahaha! (More evil and wicked laughing)."

So the next evening, like garden ghouls in the night, we began sneaking up the driveways of friends and neighbours, dropping our vile, malignant produce on their front stoops and then running away. Some caught on to our cunning deception and tried to discourage us leaving small amounts of their own garden output around their yards. Others, in order to deter our wily clandestine behaviour, greeted us at their doors wearing ring necklaces of cherry tomatoes.

Now, so desperately overrun with produce, I've been having this re-occurring nightmare. Waking in the night screaming and drenched with sweat, I dream that I'm driving around in the middle of the night with a trunk full of twisted, odious zucchinis. With my car so overloaded with vegetation the back end sags dangerously low to the road, an alert cop notices, flashes his lights and pulls me over.

Nervously, I roll down my window" "Was I doing something wrong officer?" I creek malevolently.

"Sir," the officer replies. "Please get out of your car and open your trunk." I then comply, only to reveal a massive trunk load of zucchinis. "Sir, you are under arrest. We have laws that protect people from the likes of you."

The cop reaches for his radio and calls for assistance. "I got another one of these hit-and-run zucchini nuts. I'll need some backup and a truck, over!"

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