17. Aluminum Foil Wrap. This may be needed for coating your hats after sewing on the tea bags.
18. Candles. These can be used for cooking your hamburgers if you run out of cotton balls.
19. Can Opener. Because planting a garden is a liberal plot to infect you by producing your food in a giant pile of dirt.
20. Basic Tools. You never know what you might have to build: a coffee maker, a waterboarding table, a social contract.
21. Handyman's Hardware Assortment: screws, nuts and bolts, wire, nails, etc. Because if your neighbors cannot find any nails or screws, they will be more content, more self-sufficient, and less likely to crucify you as punishment for your superior entrepreneurship.
22. 5-Gallon Gas Can Containers. These will be critical for maintaining supplies of our essential bodily fluids.
23. Round Magnifying Glass. Now, let's think about this. Will a magnifying glass, even a round one, provide you with what could have been provided by a group of friends and neighbors working together? Maybe we're trying to focus on the tiny details so much that we're missing the bigger picture. Look at the nations that have nonviolently overthrown tyrants, rejected rigged elections, ended foreign occupations, and abolished systemic abuses of rights? What if those people had hidden away in their houses with large supplies of magnifying glasses and gas containers? And how many magnifying glasses can you actually use anyway? Is the point to provide yourself with something supposedly essential or to deny it to others? Because you are already denying others the essential provision of your cooperative collaboration in building a better world. And by denying it to others, you are depriving yourself as well.
24. Envelopes. Neither rain nor sleet nor plague of anarchy . . . . Oh for godsake, do you really think the mailman is going to bring you mail after you've sat by while the post office was dismantled and then focused your energy on hoarding plastic bags and salt? Let's grow up before it's too late. Let's write some letters and send them while we still can. Let's put something kind and constructive in them whenever possible.
25. If you've already hoarded anything, take it to an occupy encampment now!
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