we never want to begin at the beginning. we want to snuggle into structure and enjoy the ride. we should have more confidence in these winking gremlins who keep encouraging us to drop everything and go oblique. not randomly, not pell mell, but having the integrity to turn off the shoulds. whatever compulsiveness is turning a deaf ear to is generally an open window, a worm hole out of the future back to where our hearts are. the sanity of confusion. it's not hard to find, unless you're never confused. that's not my problem. it's ok to breathe, if it's ok to be confused.
thus, beginning at the beginning is never beginning with certainty. unless, of course, you've disappeared into theoretical truth. immediacy is always frayed at the edges, no floodlights of omniscience. so what? this is great. this is the way it is. when I was a young man I once walked down a street in New York, plunged, as they say, into despair. it had to do with a failed romance. ah, to be 20 something!. but this was serious, it felt like I was losing my will to live. I was drowning in certaintylessness. but then, fortunately and suddenly, I had the cosmic good sense to realize certainty is a synonym of arrogance. not knowing bottom lines isn't a symptom of failure, it's the breath of intelligence! who the hell did I think I was, to think if I didn't have truth by the balls, I should curl up and die. thus, humility saved my ass, and I returned to the human condition and found another girl friend. guess what? life went on. it always does.
it's ok to grope. not having should/goals the size of watermelons means we're not nuts. all this delicate, messy stuff is where all the gold is. it's where we already are, not where we're obliged to get to. life is nonstop today, everything else is white noise. it's such a relief to speak from what we don't know, than from what most of us are pretending is common knowledge. common knowledge is common terror, common bullshit. enough already. let's keep it simple. let's stop trashing intelligence with brain dead smugness. and science does this EVERY BIT as much as religion. let's stuff socks into the mouths of all these certainty machines. true believer thyself.
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whales have an awful lot of body to keep track of.
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well, I don't know what to think about this, says the cat to the allegator. Homo sapien humility, I thought that was a contradiction in terms. yeah, but some naked apes taste better than others, you know what I mean, says the allegator to the cat. no, I guess I can't really say that I do, says the cat, taking a step backward. hey dude, don't worry about me, says the allegator. to me, you don't have a hairball, you are a hairball. much ado about nothing, you know what I mean, says the allegator. I'll take that as a complement, says the cat. the thing is, says the allegator, I ponder a lot more than you mammals think I do when I'm in submarine mode and I just can't shake the impression that these lunch meat hominids don't think any other life form is REAL! yeah, I know what you mean, says the cat. they always act like they're just visiting here. no wonder they can't swim worth a sh*t, says the allegator.
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