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"If Stephen Hawking Lived in England" and Other Great Points the Left Doesn't Want You to Know

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opednews.com Headlined to H3 8/19/09

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Fellow Patriots,

Here are some important things to keep in mind when those blood-suckers from the left try to confuse you about health care. Print this out so you can bring it to a town hall.


1.) If Stephen Hawking lived in England, he'd be left to die. Thank God he's safe at the University of Cambridge in Massachusetts.

2.) If the government was capable of ensuring health care for seniors, they would have done it decades ago.

3.) If we didn't have a free enterprise health care system in America, then we would not be able to achieve all those advances in medicine funded by the National Institutes of Health.

4.) When the people of oppressed countries like Canada, Britain, France, Italy, Germany, Sweden, Denmark, Israel, Australia and New Zealand finally get democracy, they can vote out their socialized health care systems.

5.) England's capital is the ultimate proof that national health care kills free enterprise. That's why London has no stock exchange, no banking district, no tabloid newspapers, no big musicals, and no expensive real estate.

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6.) Even the World Health Organization agrees that "America has the best health care system in the world"; the WHO ranks the American health care system at the very top part of its list, right after the first part where 36 other countries rank higher.

7.) Free enterprise is the greatest system ever invented and government can't even come close. What else but private industry could have split the atom, or gotten a man on the moon?

8.) If you drove 100 miles on the interstate freeway you still couldn't come up with one good thing that government has done.

9.) I'm writing an urgent letter to my Senator about the health-care issue. I'm explaining how the government never does anything right. I'm sure the Post Office will deliver it in a day or so.

10.) The last thing anyone needs is a government official getting involved with health. I look after my own health. For example, I always make sure I eat at restaurants rated "A" in the window.

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11.) I really resent the government thinking I need any assistance from them. I buy my FDA-approved medication on my own.

12.) If health care were available to all at government expense, people would overconsume, using it when they don't really need it. As in the common phrase: "It's Saturday night, honey. Would you rather go to a movie, or shall we have our gallstones removed?"

13.) For some reason, the lunatic left can't understand that the most important thing in health care is consumer choice. When you're in a car accident and you've lost pints and pints of blood, what you really want to do is to sit down, think over what you want to spend and where, and comparison-shop. And if you happen to choose an incompetent surgeon, well, he damn well won't get your business next time, will he?

 

Jennifer Epps is a peace, social justice, pro-democracy, environmentalist and animal activist in L.A. She has also been a scriptwriter, stage director, actor, puppeteer, and film critic. Her political film reviews are collected at: (more...)
 

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London has no stock exchange?Better tell them....h... by zonie on Wednesday, Aug 19, 2009 at 8:31:08 PM
it's satire.....right?Dummy me.... by zonie on Wednesday, Aug 19, 2009 at 8:34:41 PM
You were having a blonde moment.... by Bryan Emmel on Friday, Aug 21, 2009 at 2:10:18 AM
So what kind of NUT-JOB is Jennifer Epps?. Here is... by steve b on Thursday, Aug 20, 2009 at 12:08:15 AM
It is all satire. Brilliant ones, at that! How can... by Nathan Nahm on Thursday, Aug 20, 2009 at 12:23:17 AM
I am always amazed when someone does a satire piec... by WML on Thursday, Aug 20, 2009 at 12:36:09 AM
How can we get the mainstream media to give covera... by Don Smith on Thursday, Aug 20, 2009 at 1:48:36 AM
It goes to show that "socialism" must be a truly g... by Nathan Nahm on Thursday, Aug 20, 2009 at 3:38:41 PM
I already submitted this as an article:Conservativ... by Don Smith on Friday, Aug 21, 2009 at 5:25:56 PM
Very funny! And very true.Unfortunately, we progre... by James Hadstate on Thursday, Aug 20, 2009 at 12:56:48 PM
I just howled reading through your list! Thank you... by Bryan Emmel on Friday, Aug 21, 2009 at 2:08:29 AM
I enjoyed your spoof. However, many of the opponen... by Pulladigm on Friday, Aug 21, 2009 at 11:05:52 AM