Romney Leads in Iowa; Other GOP Idiots Promise To Burn Constitution Because Of Vaginas

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Uh-oh, that thing that no one thought would happen but secretly knew was going to happen has finally HAPPENED, folks: Mitt Romney is leading in a new poll out of Iowa. Great. Iowa has lost its sense of humor just in time for the caucuses. 'Political wisdom,' which is an oxymoron, has it that Romney is finally at the top of the trash heap because weepy evangelical voters are fighting among each other over who of the remaining candidates (not counting Ron Paul or Jon Huntsman, duh) qualifies as the most theocratically-inclined would-be dictator bigot of all. Michele Bachmann, Newt Gingrich, Rick Perry and Rick Santorum all KNOW THIS, so they are working extra super double hard at the crazy in these final days before the caucuses. Just look at the hilarious catalogue of totally insane positions that Iowa Republican voters are increasingly turning down, right now!

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