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Mark Morford: Your Prius will not save you now

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We race toward the end times of 2012, the planet seeming to spin faster and faster on the Devil's middle finger like a flaming basketball, as everyone across the globe hears the same gravid and desperate message: 'Something's gotta give.' Proof? Easy. Behold the seemingly impossible news that the volume of greenhouse gasses worldwide is officially the highest ever recorded. It's true. Perhaps you disagree? I say to you with utmost compassion: You are a simpleton and a fool. To suggest that thousands of the world's finest climate scientists, PhDs, university departments, governments et al are involved in some sort of global warming gambit just for the money and influence is like saying Buddhist monks are in it for the rice and the nifty red robes.

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