Mark Morford: 8 awesome facts to make you go blind

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A new study from Finland, or maybe it was Russia, suggests that if you watch "Fast Five" and "Thor" back-to-back and then play 22.7 straight hours of the new "Duke Nukem Forever" retrosexist video game as you swill down an entire bottle of bacon vodka whilst belching the names of all female Tea Party members who think abortion is an inveterate evil caused by heathen pervert sex-maniac females who deserve zero rights or control because, after all, God thinks rape "isn't so bad," you will actually go back in time and turn into a lump of gelatinous cave mold.

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