Positive Psychologist Robert Biswas-Diener, author, The Upside of Your Dark Side:

Robert Biswas-Diener is a second generation positive psychologist, author and instructor at Portland State University. he has been called the "Indiana Jones of positive psychology".

And it's the first time I've interviewed a son after having interviewed the father--in this case, Ed Deiner.

Author:

The Courage Quotient: How Science Can Make You Braver

Positive Psychology as Social Change

x : Why Being Your Whole Self--Not Just Your "Good" self--drives success and fulfillment co-authored with Todd Kashdan

http://intentionalhappiness.com/

Very Rough Interview Notes-- mainly aimed at getting you to LISTEN to the podcast.

Rob: What is the basic underlying principle of this book?

Direction American, western society is heading-- as we become more comfortable, we get out of practice with hardships. "we're pushing towards a happiness only society.

Dark side--boredom, anger, mindlessness--are beneficial--

Rob: You use the concept of wholism--how does the concept of wholism apply?

By whole, people feel splintered in some way, divorced from aspects of their own nature.

Rob: you talk about how positive stuff can get you about 80% of the way, but there's this other 20% that can give you an edge--the 20% edge. Can you talk about that?

Lots of good things about happiness--but trying to shoot for 100% happiness is unrealistic and the rest of the time you want to get all the benefits that those other emotions carry with them.

Ability to shift

Rob: ability to shift--talk more about that.

We talk in the book about psychological agility-- to be psychologically flexible.

Rob: you say, "we often forget the value of uncomfortable states." Could you explain?

Guilt, anger--why are they good? Especially anger troubles people.

Guilt tells you that you've behaved counter to your ethical or moral code.

Guilt turns out to be a wonderful thing. Incarcerated people who felt were less l ikely to go back to jail.

Rob: You differentiate between guilt and shame and came up with some very interesting findings.

People who feel shame have a different focus thant people who feel guilty. Guilty people focus on the act, People experiencing shame focus on themselves, thinking, I'm a bad person.

Rob: You talk about how guilt can be used in positive ways.

Rob: What's the problem with being comfortable?

Calcutta anecdote--

Rob: that reminds me of Mihalyi C. who showed that we experience flow states when we are challenged.

Rob: You talk about emotional time travel and emotional time travel errors.

Rob: in your TedX Talk: Your happiest days are behind you.

Rob: I talk about my work with positivity and the KPEI

Rob; Tell us about the Dark Triad and the Teddy Effect

We're talking about being socially flexible. Are there times when seeming deception or selfishness are not only functional but even for the collective good.

Narcissism, Psychopathy

Psychopaths don't get riled up, might say emotionally detached.

People who have that emotional even keel can keep cool under pressure

Narcissists have a sense of entitlement--people who have entitled or special are more likely to take risks with their ideas. You find a dollop of narcissism in entrepreneurism.

I think that

Rob: Talk about Scott Lillienfeld's research with successful psychopaths, and TV shows--like Breaking Bad, Dexter,

Teddy Roosevelt--one of most successful presidents--won Nobel Peace prize and was also a highly decorated, war hero--ie, a highly violent man.

Rob: Strategic use of your dark side

Rob: is narcissism really the same as believing in yourself.

We are saying that sometimes self-centeredness, deception, flattery, can work well for you.

Rob: the third part of the dark triad is Machiavellianism. Can you talk about that?

Rob: I have a problem with the wording--though deception is a part of nature.

Rob: You mentioned how Narcissists and psychopaths help more in some situations.

I'm talking about small n narcissists--

Rob: You talk about helicopter parents and politics and parents

This is where my work on the book changed me the most-- I've shifted pretty dramatically. Let your experience some of their bad moods.

Rob; You talk about how other cultures, how Asians, feel more comfortable with unpleasant or uncomfortable moods.

Study: people from different cultures were asked, "was Jesus happy?"

S. Koreans were five times more likely to mention sacrifice, blood , suffering,

In many Asian cultures there's a higher tolerance for negative states. American tend to try to tamp down negative states, try to repress them. But also tamp down more positive states.

Rob: So you are saying that Asians, because they allow themselves to feel their negative states more , feel their positive states more. Asians laughed mo re in response to comedy.

Rob: Let's get into anger. You have some interesting things to say about anger as well.

I'm not trying to say that anger is the secret to success. But I will say that of all the negative emotions, anger has the worst reputation--

Feeling angry is okay. You're not going to get stuck at angry.

People who can parse out their emotional experience

Rob: you about about, regarding anger--the discomfort caveat, tone, slowing things down,

Rob: Regarding parsing out your emotional experience--you report a study on drinkers

Skill called emotion differentiation--

Rob: You mention a number of people who tapped their anger to change the world.

Righteous anger, rage for injustice--

Anger as driver for social change.

Rob: talk about Novelty, stability and boredom

We need novelty and stability. Imagine your living room staying exactly as it is for the rest of your life". Vs" imagine that every night at midnight a crew would come in and completely redecorate it--new walls, carpet, furniture positions,.

Stability is helpful for us because".

Novelty helps attract our attention, grow, gives us new information.

Rob: what about boredom?

Rob: Can you again summarize what it means to be whole with their dark side?

Rob: Are there any bottom-up or top-down aspects to what we've been talking about?

When people are in top-down thinking/processing--people taking short-cuts--People doing bottom-up are really paying attention to detail.

Rob: bottom-up processing is m ore raw, less filtered. Top-down involves more filtering. Does that tie in with what you're

Rob: So, based on your book, you need to be more of the raw bottom-up to be more effective?