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Google Eyed Over Google!
I've got great news. I am being considered for a job at Google. Can you believe that? How did it happen? Well, it is a short story.
I received a surprising email from them.
"Thanks so much for responding to our Applicant Tracking System. Although your resume was read by a real person, this address is not being monitored by one. (How cool is that!)
If you have further questions, please submit them to jobs@google.com.
We receive a large amount of personalized requests to that alias, and will respond if we can provide additional information to assist you.
Thanks again,
Google Staffing"
Can you believe that? Now I am working on my MacMini, so I do not have my resume on this machine. I do have it on my UMax 600, but, right now, it is giving me a hard drive problem. No big deal. I have backups of backups of everything. I know I have my resume on my Macintosh II up stairs and it is on my Macintosh SE 30. I could have it on my 5400 as well. For sure I have it on some 3.5 diskettes and an external SCSI hard drive. How did they get it?
I don't know. I am retired and am considered permanently disabled, but, with some understanding and special needs assessment, I could work for google. These dotcom companies are very progressive and usually will work with a person who has a handicap.
I take the Silicon Valley News every day. I think it is called "Rise and Shine."
To work there, I would need a special chair. A lawn chair would do fine, thank you.
Then I would need a place for my medication, lockable. You know those Silicon Valley workers, they'll do and take anything, even steroids, to give them the advantage.
My working times would have to be flexible, since I have a sleeping disorder. I might come in at 11 am or even 1:30 pm. Don't expect me there anywhere close to 7 or 8 in the morning.
Now I can only sit at a computer for about an hour, before I have to take pain pills and lie down for a stretch. I'm going to demand one of those beds with mattresses that you can jump on, and the glass of wine doesn't even move. My back is horrible.
I can gather up all my medical reports, including the half dozen MRIs, different types of scans, and all the medication I am taking. I am very creative when it comes to the Internet or on the computer. For example, I'm helping my brother teach a class on American Culture in Thailand and next semester, in China using blogs. You can find them by search on blogspot.com, "okharpman." The Asians know absolutely nothing about American Indians and their culture. I live in the North American Plains Indian Capitol of the world.
My wife is all excited about it, too. Marcella is an Internationally Board Certified Lactation Consultant. Now, if you don't know what that means, ask your wife. Sorry, her job is for the mommas, though she does expect the significant alpha to support his wife's efforts at lactation.
So, ... here I am, hoping that I get hired by google. I'm sure pay will be good.
Wait a minute. Checking my google email account, I have ANOTHER email from google about my resume. Hmm. Can't wait to open it. I just know I will be pleasantly surprised. I've already called the local moving company. None of this U-Haul business, when it comes to Silicon Valley. I'll open it.
"We received your resume and would like to thank you for your interest in Google. After carefully reviewing your experience and qualifications, we have determined that we do not have a position available which is a strong match at this time.
(Shoot. Wait! Does that say, "this time?")
Thanks again for considering Google. We wish you well in your endeavors and hope you might consider us again in the future.
Sincerely,
Google Staffing"
Hey, this isn't fair. I know they can't be looking at my resume. Maybe if I sent them MY real resume, they would reconsider it. I'll get back with you later and let you know the outcome.
ccharpman
