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Tiger Woods Golfing
9) Tiger Woods 9th favorite hole is the 12th Hole at Augusta National Golf Course called "Golden Bell", a par 3, 155 yards. According to Augusta National the hole is a bear to play because of the swirling winds. It's all about distance judgment here. You must play to a very narrow green guarded in front by Rae's Creek, the White House Secret Service and tons of sand in front and behind. The serene picturesque trees, water and azaleas prove that beauty can be a bear. Bobby Jones said of "Golden Bell", "The wind sweeping down along Rae's Creek is often deceptive to the player standing on the tee about to hit."
8) Tiger Woods 8th favorite golf hole is the 13th Hole at Augusta National Golf Course called "Azalea", a par 5, 510 yards. Bobby Jones said, "Whatever position may be reached with the tee shot, the second shot as well entails a momentous decision whether or not to try for the green. Several tournaments have been won or lost here, even though the decision may not have been obvious at the time."
7) Tiger Woods 7th favorite golf hole is the par 4, 18th hole at Bay Hill Club, located in the heart of Orlando, Florida. The course is owned by The King, Arnold Palmer. A deacon is a cleric ranking just below a priest and two steps below a Lama. Tiger Woods has probably now blown any chance he may have had of becoming the next Dalai Lama, but there's always next life.
6) It seems that Tiger Woods really enjoys playing the back nine. Tiger's 6th favorite golf hole is the 17th hole, a par 4 at the Congressional Country Club Blue course. The 17th green is set on a peninsula. The word peninsula is derived from the Latin "paeninsula". This week Tiger scorned his own tournament. The Woods home on Deacon Street in Orlando tonight is about as relaxed as Saddam Hussein just before he swung. At least nobody screamed "kitty" at the top of his backswing. Where are the dogs on Deacon Street urinating tonight? That is, if anyone let the dogs out.
5) Tiger drove through the bushes, a hedge, caromed off a fire hydrant and then ploughed into a tree. At first the police reported that our beloved golf God had been seriously injured in a car crash. Thoughts of Michael Jackson and Ben Hogan flashed through our collective consciousness. Golf without Tiger Woods would be like watching the golf course superintendents removing lawn grubs from the rough.
4) Tiger Woods is lying on the grass unconcious beside the hole where the fire hydrant used to be. The neighbourhood canines are lining up for their turn. Kelly Tilghman is burning up the lines to Gloria Allred digging for the scoop. Scoop Jackson was a major influence on Paul Wolfowitz and Richard Perle. A beautiful pearl necklace once belonging to Marilyn Monroe may come in handy around now.
3) How do you teach a dog to beg? The Kalika Purana is one of the 18 Hindu Religious texts called the Upapuranas.
2) Aleksei Uchitel is a former Russian cameraman, now film director. He was born in 1951 in Leningrad to famed documentary film maker Yefim Uchitel. Uchitel spelled backwards is Let Ihc U.
1) Tiger Woods favorite hole is a closely guarded secret. As scores of women now come out of the woodwork to claim that they slept with a Tiger, Siegfrid and Roy have been retained by the Woods family to screen the applicants for veracity and little creepy crawly things. The burning question now is, "Where were the paparazzi all these years?" Did Tiger Woods have some arrrangement with them all like Lyndon Baines Johnson?
