OpEdNews - Diary: The WeatherPeople We Know

Both Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell have been struck speechless in wake of heavy rain and flooding in and around Washington, DC.

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If The Almighty does indeed talk to the televangelists and politicians who claim She does, then the Heavenly Rainmaker must have called in sick over the weekend. Over 6 inches of rain fell in the greater Washington area -- causing the occasional mud slide and closing streets and bridges throughout the area's river basin. This may be the first real evidence that God might be distressed by the recent moves made by the country that refers to itself as the "Holiest Government on Earth." There may be Scriptual evidence that The Lord can smite Republicans as well as Democrats. The Gospel of Thomas -- officially considered apocryphal by most of mainstream Christianity -- may yet hold clues to the weekend's events. A quote from the Thomas Gospel and attributed to The Saviour has many meteoroligists puzzled as well: "I know I hath promised not to destroy the earth by flood again. However, the unholy may feel my watery wrath when they try to use My powers to cleanse the Nations to line their own purses...." and this: ..."know that the wicked are among thee when they use My church against thee and thy loved ones. That time is also nigh when many will also be claiming falsely that love of one's country is the last refuge of a scoundrel. It is the false study of The Almighty that is truly the last refuge of these -- the most unholy -- and power to rule will be falsely claimed by them. May you know these when they claim to be acting in My Name. They will call themselves "The Incumbents." Neither Robertson nor Falwell waa available for immediate comment.