To say that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is the leader of Iran is like saying that Dana Perino is the leader of the United States of America. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad doesn’t defecate without the written permisssion of Ayattollah Ali Khamenei. Furthermore, in six months Mahmoud is facing an election, and the polls have Al Franken with a commanding lead of 3 votes. If you think that elections in our country are rigged, go count ballots in Tehran. The Ayatollah already has the official results.
They say that blood is thicker than water. Thickness matters. The state of this entire planet is thickening. Bill Clinton smokes marijuana because when he doesn’t have relations with Monica Lewinsky it is the greatest feeling he can have, by miles. Not long ago we had prohibition, and then we elected an alcoholic deserter, twice. Now we have a President elect who openly admits to smoking pot and snorting cocaine. Why is there one law for the politicians and another for the people?
We are spending billions each year locking up social pot smokers with serial killers, and we cut down the rainforests to make toilet paper, instead of growing hemp each year, which makes better paper and clothing right here in the United States. In addition, God’s herb makes us all feel great as we patiently wait for the Rapture. Does Dick Cheney own the lumber companies too?
Why do we put politicians in charge of the economy? If you needed a quadruple bypass would you go to Larry Craig or Dr. Robert Chase? A woman in Canada just survived three days trapped inside of a snow bank until a dog named Ace Rothstein bailed her out. A meteorite just came through our atmosphere and created a fireball as bright as the sun. It landed in Canada and the pieces are six billion years old, older than our solar system by a billion years, according to Canadian scientists. However, Alaskan scientists have dated the rocks at 6,000 years old.
The oldest human, Lucy, is 5 million years old. Lucy is doing endorsements for Geritol. Kindly put on your math hat. The Universe was created in the big bang in the dope smoke filled oval office 15 billion years ago. The earth was created 5 billion years ago. In the Christian country of Zimbawbwe, children will be celebrating Christmas tomorrow by fighting over food scraps from garbage bags. Raw sewage is flooding the fairways and greens. A loaf of bread costs 5 billion dollars. A cholera epidemic has already killed a thousand people. In the next few months, Iran, now flush with oil is going to make Zimbabwe look like Pebble Beach.
For 15 billion years there was no such thing as Judaism, Christianity or Islam until 4,000 years ago when Abraham invented Judaism. 2,000 years ago, Jesus Christ, the Jewish born Rabbi and Messiah of Christianity and Islam invented Christianity. 1,400 years ago the Prophet Muhammad invented Islam, when he wasn’t using his prophetic gift at the Mecca Downs Camel Racing track. The Prophet, peace be upon him, hired Ace Rothstein to run the track for him. Ace explained to the Prophet that when you own the track, you make money on every race on 9 horses and lose money on only one, and you get to decide how much to pay out on that one. If you build it, they will come, because people are willing to pay big money for the rush.
God of Mount Sinai aka God the Father, Jesus Christ, The Holy Spirit, Yehovah and Allah is the God of Rick Warren, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, and Bernard Madoff. Three years ago, The Temple of Love aka The World Peace Religion was founded, http://www.thetempleoflove.com Last year Jordanian Prince Ghazi founded the website “A Common Word Between You and Us, Love”. http://www.acommonword.com
Since then, Pope Benedict XVI and Saudi King Abdullah have taken the lead in the race for the Nobel Peace Prize by convening groundbreaking interfaith conferences in Madrid, Spain, The Vatican, and most recently at the United Nations, where for the first time in history, Tzipi Livni served latkas and apple sauce to Saudi and Jordanian Kings Abdullah, and the leaders of Russia, Europe, and the United States. President elect Barack Obama reefers to himself as a mutt, a mixture of a lily white mother from Kansas, and a black Muslim father from Kenya. The world political and religious leaders, except for Ayatollah Ali Khamenei have now realized that Judaism, Christianity and Islam are leading us all into the extinction of life on earth forever, and they have now made great strides in bridging their divisions.
Nothing unites people more than a common enemy. Aside from Satan, the political and religious leaders of Israel, Saudi Arabia and the United States realize that if the United States withdraws from Iraq, the Shiite leaders of Iran and Iraq will swiftly move to conquer the entire Middle East. Iran is now only months away from acquiring nuclear weapons, and they will have a stranglehold on the world’s oil supply, if the U.S. leaves Iraq. This is why Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton promised to keep a residual force of 40,000 troops in Iraq permanently.
Iran is the head of the snake, and Hamas and Hezbollah are the arms and legs of the snake. Iran’s national anthem is “Death to America, Death to Israel.” Once Iran, Hamas and Hezbollah have nuclear weapons, Israel, the U.S., and Europe won’t last a day.
After 911 one is tempted to think that Dick Cheney is deliberately bankrupting his own country, flooding the fairways of Augusta National with sewage to rile up the American people into killing two birds with one stone by obliterating Iran to conquer the Middle East oil fields for America and to defend America from Iranian nuclear weapons. Iran’s theologians running the country are not at all concerned about being obliterated by the United States, because they believe that the Mahdi and Jesus Christ will save them and conquer the world for them, not to mention the virgins and wine with no side effects. Tiger Woods has Stevie Williams learning how to read stool.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad believes in the Old Testament, the New Testament, the Koran, and the Hadith, the oral law. Here is where truth is stranger than fiction, and here is the seed of the Apocalypse – the Messiah passages. In Psalm 2, God of Mount Sinai promised King David that he would conquer the goyim, the non Jews, and the earth, for the Jewish people. Ayatollah Ali Khamenei scratched out the word Goyim, as in A Rod Blagoyevich, and substituted the word infidel, non Muslim. It’s like taking the name of the beneficiary in a will, scratching it out and inserting your own name. The Iranian people are about to be incinerated by glaringly obvious bull excrement.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad believes that Jesus Christ is going to defeat the Christians, including regular Church goer Vladimir Putin, for him. In the book of Revelations, Jesus Christ comes flying down from Heaven on his flying white horse and conquers the snake, goat, lion, Devil. This is the Santa Claus story. The New Testament was written 100 years after Jesus christ died by Greek authors in Greek. In the Greek myth, Prince Bellerophon flys on his flying horse Pegasus and defeats the snake, goat, lion Chimera. The Santa Claus story that Ayatollah Ali Khamenei is peddling to the peace loving innocent people of Iran is a dead on plagiarism of a Greek Myth.
The perfect way for Ayatollah Ali Khamenei to absolutely cripple the United States of America, already careening towards a Great Depression is for Iran today to destroy their nuclear reactor in Bushehr, Iran, permanently suspend their enrichment of uranium, and open Iran’s doors wide open to the U.N. weapons inspectors, thereby removing the reason of the United States, Europe, Israel, and the Arab League for nuclear obliterating Iran in self defense. Meanwhile Dick Cheney is in some undisclosed location praying that Iran doesn’t figure this out, because he’s sick and tired of playing with one hand tied behind his back.
