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The Devil’s Diary - 24 September 2007Dear Diary:
Dubya and Mahmoud go so well together. I couldn’t ask for anything more. Every last little thing is going exactly as schemed. Give me my due. I’m the one who convinced them that it was in both of their best interests for Ahmadinejad to incite at Columbia.
As I predicted, Bush further rallied conservatives already good and riled over Move On’s ad about General Betray Us. Now that Mahmoud has mouthed off at Columbia about 9/11 and the Holocaust, Americans perceive him even more as a crazed tyrant. After Mahmouth’s comment about that there are no gays in Iran, that gays are only in the west, not even liberals are going to defend the bigot and the country where gays are routinely executed, Ah, breath deep and smell sulfuric war in the air.
And I whispered in Dubya’s ear that he would be able to spout off that allowing Mahmouth to speak shows just how free and open the US is. Dubya gets to joke that I’m-a-jerk wouldn’t let him come speak in Iran.
Sure, the Americans will hate you, I told Mahmoud. Especially the Jews, I added. And in New York City, I stressed.
“Enough already,” he said, “I’ll do it.” Indeed, dear diary, being so astute, Mahmoud realized how his people would view him being attacked and treated rudely in the Great Babylon. Brave Mahmoud had ventured forth into the very beast of the belly, even offering to lay a wreath at Ground Zero. What a fair man, his people will say. Willing to give the crusaders even one more chance to repent and get right with Allah. But look how the infidels and Jews treated Allah’s envoy of peace.
Right with Allah, right with God, what’s in a name when it’s the blood that I’m after. So what, diary, if they don’t give me credit. Their blood sacrifices are enough.
Dubya and Mahmoud are both so greedy for attention and power. Both so long to be the Big Guy’s successor. Both have their dedicated followers who believe that immutable prophecy is unfolding. Both sides believe that they are the noble good guys standing up to evil, so that God will not be overrun. What more, pray tell me, diary, could I ask?
Hatefully as always,
Lucifer Beelzebub “Bubba” Mephistopheles de Mammon
