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1. The real pro.Newly appointed PR specialist to the White House had recently revealed his strategy.
- We have to change the name of this war,- he said, Instead of War on Terror we will call it War OFF Terror. On/Off, you know.
2.The problem
A special Commission on Islamofascism appointed by Capucheney himself revealed that Quran does promote violence sometimes. Unfortunately, so does Bible. So Does Torah. So Do some Buddhist texts. And so does the Communist Manifesto.
3. Side effects
Reichfurher Rummy the Pooh recently called the antiwar people appeasers similar to Chamberlain in 1930. The Chamberlain estate is now being sued by thousands of possible heirs from the US.
4. The speech
Our Pretzel recently gave a speech on torture.
- We do not torture,' - he said,' I do not torture, my wife does not torture and my family does not torture. I do not know who does. I do not want to talk the tecnique though.'
5. Sweet Septembers
The Chilean coup instigated by the US against the legitimate govt of Salvador Allende took place ON SEPTEMBER 11, 1973! Hello! How about them apples?
6. Those pesky Prussians
Our Pretzel was very disappointed with the Prussian reaction on the 5th anniversary of the 9/11. The Prussians had delivered to the White House a little goat in a diplomatic pouch.
7. Unprepared.
A excerpt from our Pretzel's speeh to the students of the Sarasota, FL, the same kids he read to on 9/11, 2003:
- Boy, you are so big now. Our War on Terror needs you, folks. I hope to see you on the front lines...
8. Surgery
Reichfuhrer Capucheney recently endured a severe head surgery. After the procedure he said,
- Invasion of Iraq was a good thing, WMD or not.
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May God have mercy on their souls....
