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Romney and Remus by Allan Wayne
An ancient statue in Rome, favored by Benito Mussolini, reveals that Romney and his evil twin Remus, were suckled by a she wolf known as Lupa.
Although identical with sleek wolf hair, they act like dogs of a different daddy. Remus calls Obama's Health Plan a tax. Romney calls it a penalty.
"Frankly," said Lupa, "I don't give a damn. Just watch your teeth."
"Hey, Remus! Lay off!" said Romney. "I'm the real Roman!"
"Play fair!" said Remus. "You fired me last week!"
I'll fire you this week, my friend," said Romney, "if you don't scratch my belly."
"Don't call me friend!"
"Don't call me Romney," said Romney. "It's Romulus."
"Those bronze teats have gone to your head," said Remus "Along with your lead dog dish."
"I should have bottle-fed them," said Lupa. "I knew this wouldn't work."
"What are you going to do?" said Remus. "Write me up for no insurance?"
"Why, yes," Romney licked his chops. "I'll dress up like a police dog. And give you a ticket, I mean tax. I mean, penalty."
"I can understand car insurance!" screamed Remus. "To pay if you hurt somebody! But I'm not a car!
"Why, yes, my friend," said Romney "Of course people are cars."
