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1.Olympic problems.
Apparently there were problems in Beijing regarding water supply of the Olympic facilities. Turned out that out of 1mln people commissioned to perpetually deliver water from Everest about 10 defected to India and water supply was disrupted.
2. Underage issue of Chinese gymnasts.
To prove that the female gymnasts were not underage the Chinese govt supplied the Olympic committee with the list of male lovers of all gymnasts.
- I hope no one thinks that we take underage girls as concubines,-said the Chinese sports official.
The Olympic Committee considers the matter closed.
3. Royal marriages.
In the spirit of the World Peace and global cooperation the following marriage ceremonies will be conducted in Kiev, on the Bald Mountain ( legendary place of witchcraft- MS) by Wiy ( Ukrainian demon from fairy-tales-MS):
Condi Rice marries Mikheil Saakashvili
John McCain marries Joe Lieberman
Vlad Putin marries Dmitri Medvedev
Nicola Sarkosi marries Angela Merkel
Julia Timoshenko marries Polish twin ministers
Prince Charles marries Al Gore
Ann Colteur marries Rush Limbaugh
The presidents of three Baltic states marry in threesome.
After the ceremony the couples will have a reception in Baby Yar ( place of the Jewish massacre- MS) where they will all enjoy kosher food sent from Israel.
4. Presidential race in the US
It has been suggested to judge the candidates not on what they say but on what they don't. Turned out in this case they were both exactly the same- they don't say anything real.
5. Evil.
During the evangelical forum both candidates were asked about Evil. McCaine scored by saying,' Defeat evil by giving it more federal money.'
6. Housing problem
John McCain protested the Obama's message about him being rich by stating that he uses his 7 houses as a collateral for a reverse mortgage.
7. NATO
The North Atlantic Treaty organization wants to include Georgia. Because of that the new maps published in Brussels call Caucasus ' North Europe' and Pacific Ocean is called ' Eastern Atlantic'.
8. Bush.
Our President recently pardoned a lamb sent to him from Georgia to eat as a token of appreciation. When afterwards told that the lamb was actually born in Ossetia he remarked, 'So send it to Cheney. He likes hunting.'
9. Ears of the champion.
MSM had reported that ourtstanding ears of Michael Phelps were actually helping him in swimmig. Other swimmers confused them for the shark fins and were paralysed by fear.
10. Peace- keeping
The UN had decided to expand the peacekeeping mandate. The peacekeepers will be sent:
on the border between England a Scotland
on the border between England and Wales
on the border between France proper and Provence
on the border between USA and Mexico
on the border between Russia and Japan
on any border whenever people are
In all cases the peacekeepers are supposed to stay there forever.
11. Alternative energy.
NASA scientists had revealed an unlimited source of clean energy for Humankind for centuries to come. It is called BULLSHIT.
