Oil Spill Containment Device
Giant pot smoking robots walking and swimming along the ocean floor putting in place a 4 storey upside down funnel to contain a man made underground volcano threatening now to turn the world's one ocean into a gigantic barrel of oil. For days the media have been lulling us all into a false sense of security. "Yah, no probs, we'll just lower this containment dome down there and suck up the 2 tiny little leaks in your exhaust pipe."
It's not only legal to turn the world's one ocean into a barrel of oil and end life on earth forever by destroying our only source of oxygen, plankton, the bottom of the food chain which will soon find its way into your stomach, but the perpetrators, the unsubs, are rewarded with billions and little tiny caps on damages they need pay. On the other hand, walk into Times Square smoking a hash pipe like Bill C and Barack O and you find yourself doing 5 to 10 in San Quentin.
A few months ago the "Drill Baby Drill" Clowns came a hair from the Presidency. 300 million people and we can't find someone who has read a paper? Given our track record of electing Nixon and Dubya twice it's amazing that Sarah lost. Don't worry; she's 1 to 5 next time. She has a whole media empire behind her.
Speaking of rectal thermometers, words are a source of misunderstanding said the Fox in "The Little Prince." Which BP PR genius came up with calling a massive underwater volcano of oil large enough to end shrimps on the Barbie thousands of miles away a "spill?" The water cooler talk has been all about the oil spill like little Mary Jane from Mobile, Alabama spilled her milky, the silly little girl.
This little oil spill will cause world wide acid rain and end fresh water. Cognitive Dissonance is when Fidel Castro starts making sense. Today the dead Cuban President blogged, "the spreading oil slick poisoning the Gulf of Mexico is proof that the world's most powerful governments cannot control large corporations that now dictate the public's destiny."
In the Democratic Debate Tour, Senator Mike Gravel pointed his finger at the First Lady and said, "Shame on you Hillary; you know full well that the military industrial complex owns the Congress lock, stock and barrel." Well? Barrel? Shortly thereafter Senator Gravel woke up in one of our rendition prisons in Poland, never to be heard from again.
Today Israel and Palestine agreed to speak to each other through third parties. Who caused this oil spill? Well, George Bush and Dick Cheney, the 2 GOP oil guys runnung the country for 8 years on behalf of big oil waived the requirement that offshore oil wells needed to have shut off equipment. A certain news organization is railing that President Obama had the absolute nerve to proclaim that at some point people have enough money, endlessly calling him a socialist; extrapolation means that at some point, the head of the "news" organization accumulates all the money in the world. The GOP are all fine with this?
Have you heard about the frogs in the pot as the heat is gradually turned up until they boil to death in a boiling cauldron of oil? Have you seen any signs of the 2010 Apocalypse? The Haiti Earthquake; the Iceland Volcano; the Nashville Flood; Sarah Palin's Book Tour; The Oil Spill turning the Earth's one ocean into oil? Next on the agenda we have the nuclear war in the Middle East which could turn into Nuclear World War III, the Apocalypse. Congratualtions everyone, we've almost built a real live Hell.
Iran believes that Jesus Christ and the Hidden Imam are on their way to clean up the oil spill. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad claims that he has documented proof that the United States of America is conspiring to prevent the return of the 12th Imam. Jesus walked on water in his sandals but can he walk on oil without getting his sandals sticky and flammable? What if someone throws a match on the Messiah's sandals? Is this what is keeping the Messiah from coming to clean up the oil spill? Little Mary Jane spilled her milk; no need to cry; BP is sending in their underwter robots.
Wasn't it the methane explosion that caused the little tiny oil spill? Now that ice crystals have clogged the containment dome, which robotic idiot is going to use the flame thrower in the ocean of oil to melt the crystals? Antipoisoner International has now confirmed that BP is now switching to plan B. BP's robots George and Dick are going to insert 2 rectal thermometers into the 2 leaks. Calling these "leaks" is like calling the hole at the top of the Eyjafjoell Volcano a leak.
Nobel Laureate Al Gore has been saying that the biggest polluters have been lying that they are the saviors of the environment. BP had been running constant ads that they are the Green Energy company, and that BP stands for Beyond Petroleum, wind and solar energy producers. Soon, any Pirate off the coast of Somalia tossing a match overboard will be able to set the world's one ocean on fire. This is what we get for being grave robbers; burning the fossils of our ancestors in our cars.
Today an expert panel reporting to President Obama found that the 80,000 man made chemicals poisoning our air, water and earth are causing 1 in 3 of us to die of cancer. In Jesus' day there was no cancer for 5 billion years. The report was commissioned before the oil spill. The Republicans are claiming that this is complete nonsense. They say that the oil spill and the plastic filled ocean are socialist paranoid hallucinations. If not for plastic, how would we build the giant plastic rectal thermometers to contain the oil spill?