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Walter Hagen, the ladies in the front row, and the Cop
It's hard to tell the players without a program. This must be cognitive dissonance week. The meek shall inherit the earth. The weak shall suffer and die. The poverty stricken shall rise up and grab Tiger Woods' endorsement contracts.
Watching golf without Tiger Woods is like watching the year long health care debate. Nevada is so tired of Harry Reid that they will now elect Ace Rothstein. Barack Obama refused to be photographed with Benjamin Netanyahu but next week President Obama will be photographed arm in arm in the Rose Garden with Hamid Karzai, Mullah Mohammed Omar and Osama bin Laden.
Fifteen years ago not one American knew where Afghanistan was. Maybe Earl Woods knew but he wasn't telling; Earl was too busy building bear traps. Imagine David Petraeus joining Al Qaeda. Imagine George Bush and Dick Cheney teaming up with Osama bin Laden to bring down the WorldTradeCenter. These things are supposed to be done in private but someone forgot to tell the unfaithful Hamid Karzai.
Why didn't Bill Clinton take out Osama bin Laden when he had the chance? Scientists say that within every human being there is an atom from every person who has ever lived. According to Benazir Bhutto Osama bin Laden died years ago. Wasn't Osama bin Laden on dialysis 10 years ago? Do caves have plugs? Why does the bin Laden in the new videos look like Marvin Hagler? Can't the Pentagon borrow the voice and facial recognition technology from CSI Miami?
We backed Saddam Hussein to fight Iran then hanged him in a Kangaroo court. We backed Hamid Karzai even when he stole the election. Tiger Woods is apologizing for his last apology. Tiger is taking treatment for a sexual addiction. Tiger said that the most important thing in his life was his wife and kids. Talk is cheap. Teen mom Bristol Palin is now extolling the virtues of abstinence. It's hard to be faithful when you are a choir boy. Pope Benedict went from Hitler Youth Nazi to Pedophile Accomplice to the one gatekeepr to Heaven for one billion Catholics. Unlike Tiger Woods and Bristol Palin, Pope Benedict was elected infallible.
Do people really have free choice? Are we all driven to kill and Francis Ford Copulate by our savage reptilian brains? How could we have free choice when Dr. Michele de Nostradame so accurately predicted the three antichrists who were born hundreds of years after his death? There is more here than meets the eye.
When Adolf Hitler came to power in 1933 Albert Einstein just happened to be on vacation. Albert Einstein saw the writing on the wall and decided not to go back to Germany; instead he went to Princeton and developed the nuclear bomb. This was the first Manhattan Project. Had Albert Einstein not had the foresight, the U.S. today would be a colony of Nazi Germany and Barack Obama and Tiger Woods would still be a fig leaf of your imagination. The big winners here would have been Phil Mickelson and Ernie Els.
If the U.S. had elected John McCain and Sarah Palin the U.S. would already have attacked Russia and ended life on earth, instead of President Obama and President Medvedev becoming best friends and beginning the road to a nuclear bomb free world.
Why did we invade Iraq? Why did we invade Afghanistan? The official story is that the Taliban Government of Afghanistan teamed up with Al Qaeda and brought down the WorldTradeCenter and part of the Pentagon. Picture Dick Cheney standing in front of the Pentagon with those signs in both hands waving the plane into the Pentagon. Oil and religion do not mix. What is all this talk of a fictional pipeline in land locked Afghanistan? Why have we been there for 10 years and poppy production has increased? Did we go there to get high?
Sarah Palin is the mother of Bristol Palin. According to Sarah Palin the U.S. is in Afghanistan on a mission from God. This week Hamid Karzai twice declared his intention to quit politics and join the Taliban. Why does he need to quit politics? Why doesn't Hamid Karzai just switch parties like Joe Lieberman and appoint all Taliban cabinet ministers?
It used to be the U.S. and the Afghan Government representing the Afghan people against the Taliban and Al Qaeda led by the deceased Osama bin Laden. Now it is the U.S. against Hamid Karzai, the Afghan Government, the Taliban and Al Qaeda. In the Afghan game of musical chairs Barack Obama has no chair. We have no allies in Afghanistan. Today Mahmoud Ahmadinejad laughed that he announced his trip to Afghanistan in advance and Obama had to show up secretly in the dead of night.
Today Mahmoud Ahmadinejad threatened to knock Barack Obama's teeth out. By alienating Israel Barack Obama is forcing Israel to join Iran, Syria, Russia and China. When it comes to the Middle East oil game of musical chairs, the United States of America will be the odd man out, and Barack Obama will be the Manchurian Candidate, destroying the United States, and making his Muslim father proud. Next week when Hamid Karzai comes to the White House, will Barack Obama announce that he too is joining the Taliban? Will Tiger Woods win the Grand Slam this year to tie the Golden Bear at 18? Will Tiger Woods rush over to kiss Bristol Palin on the 18th green? Will the King join the Taliban? Infidelity is a deadly game.
