::::::::
When the Ground Zero Mosque rises, it will be a signal to the world that the Taliban are coming to a neighborhood near you--Brooklyn bagels will go the way of the Brooklyn Dodgers, Ellis Island will be a holding cell for Elvis Impersonators, and Bronx dudes will load MP3's with Sharia instead of Shakira. Derek Jeter will drop Madonna from his Fave Five list.
When Central Park is denuded of trees, the resulting rock garden will be turf for the Taliban, instead of a haven for Richie Havens and blitzed club women from the Whisky Brooklyn. Peach bellinis will be banned from Ciprianis. The flower gardens will take on a military appearance, rows of poppies crowding out daisies and daffodils. Beards will bounce back into fashion, not to mention loose-fitting dishdashas and thobes. Crack heads will become an endangered species. Nodding urban desert will be the new chic.
If Taliban hang in the Village, they will confuse IED's with IUD's. Lady Gaga will roll her eyes.
The Taliban will avoid Courtney Love except to sign a waiver for 72 virgins. Taliban will find that cabbies shun them. Parking tickets, however, (normally written in Arabic) will ruin the credit of Al Quaeda, Inc. Donald Trump will fire Bin Laden for a weak chin.
Mosquy Night in Georgia--a sung by Brook Benton, and Conway Twitty, will make a comeback. The Taliban will smoke giant Cuban cigars as subliminal symbols for minarets.
The Taliban will avoid the ten story YMCA because of Maria singing ululations on the balcony.
Howard Stern will be arrested for looking likeBin Laden.
The Taliban will fail daily Scientology tests.
Paparazzi will mistake Sarah Palin for Elena of the Vampire Diaries when she performs exorcisms in the Mosque.
John McCain will parachute into the Hudson.
