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The St. Valentine's Notes of the Fiery DogThe St. Valentine's day is a very American Holiday. It is a day to express love to your sweetheart. Al Capone, apparently expressed his love by the St. Valentine's massacre. Cheney expresses his love by killing more birds if he cannot find people, I guess. Our new Defense Secretary Gates, expresses his love to both of his sweethearts- spying and Cold War by openly stating that he would prefer to prepare for the confrontation with Russia. What a pro, really! Our Pretzel is going to have a 'romantic dinner'. I pity everyone who will have to be there because if there is anything romantic in GW, that is most likely the moment when he goes to the bathroom, so that everyone else have time to take a deep breath. Anacondi Price, the Secretary of Nothing (there is no State anymore as PNAC had taken over) expresses her love through using the words like ' augmentation'. Last time I saw that word used in the plastic surgery vocabulary as 'breasts augmentation'. Anacondi is not a woman, I can understand that, but still, I bet she got it from the same source: she loves our troops like as if they all are her own children. I am sure all the 'augmented' folks will receive a personal letter from her in a proper posture.
Or maybe they will prefer Hillary Clinton? She oozes love. Recently she announced that torture would be OK under certain circumstances, you know. Like if you want someone to endorse your presidential candidacy, for instance and that someone, say likes Barack Obama. A good torture session would do him/her good. I am sure the illustrious senator could even assist. One of the most powerful ways of torture, say in Stalin's Russia was striptease. The loving Hillary might be very good in that. In fact, I would recommend to draft a Congress resolution that all the female senators and congresswomen who support the ' augmentation' are to perform a collective TV- striptease for the troops. For the boys and girls in uniform whom we love so much, so that they die smiling.
As for the men in Congress, I doubt that they could compete in that area. So instead I would advise to draft another resolution that all the congressmen and male senators in favor of the augmentation should be drafted into the US Army. Off you go, Johnnies and I send you flowers. Go East,congressman or senator, go East. I am sure you will serve bravely and diligently on the soil of Iraq, so that those horrible terrorists would not come here and kill us all. Take a text of the Patriot Act with you , so that you could read it at last.
I love you, you love me... Who sings that? The Dinosaur! Huge, green monster with claws and teeth sings that. Pretends to love you. Sounds familiar? Oh, very much so. So, watch your back, sweethearts. They love you to death in America.
From the Fiery Dog on St. Valentine's Day:
I love you all, men and women alike. Let no feminist throw a stone at me for using Hillary and Anacondi the way I used them. They deserve it.
