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Lose 50 lbs on the Prison Diet

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The weight loss benefits of incarceration, explained.

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If you're overweight and absolutely can't lose weight, you might consider prison to lose those unwanted pounds. Styrofoam food containers can be ripped in half and reused for your prison meals. Soap suds, food from the last meal eaten by someone else, unexplained hairs, insects, and food that is so off color it doesn't resemble anything you'd ever seen, or eat, on the outside, is a great way to lose weight among other things, like say, ending family ties, friendships, and the ability to get a good job or nice place to live for the rest of your life. So, your weight loss plan could be because you made a poor choice, were convenient to process, or if you just got in the way of important people, if you have the time on your weight loss vacation behind bars, enjoy.


There is something said for simplicity and enjoying the very basics in life. Living outside because you have to, not because you are camping, builds character.


It is getting easier and easier to go and get sent away to prison on any excuse, you don't even have to have done anything wrong, this is America, and we incarcerate a higher percentage of people here than the rest of the world, and we may have more people in our prison system than the rest of the world combined.


The lawyer and judge syndicate would like to enrich their organized crime syndicate friends while you lose your unwanted pounds. Your weight loss program can help get politicians kickbacks for funneling the building, maintaining, and supplying detention centers contracts to the politically connected.


It has been reported in various major media sources that judges get kickbacks to put you in prison, so he, or she, can buy that vacation house or expensive 3rd, or 4th, vehicle while you continue your weight loss program.


The clientele in these detention weight loss centers is improving. Lawyers pretty much run everything in government as they do in the court system, and they too, like to make as much money as possible while working as little as possible as do their black robed associates, so homeless people, real criminals, and those who are common criminal parasites aren't the real targets as they don't pay for lawyers, can't pay fines, and have little to nothing to confiscate. Picture two homeless people stabbing each other with screwdrivers versus a married, home owning couple arguing loudly where the police are called on them by friendly neighbors.


Police aren't going to want to have possible bug infested, disease carrying miscreants in their cars, never mind smelling them as they ask questions. The screwdriver stabbing incident might go unsolved even if police have a videotape of it. A married couple needing to lose weight, if they argued can both be put on probation, forced to pay court ordered tuition for classes, pay fines, pay to be on probation, and more importantly, lawyers representing both the husband and wife get paid. Stress can cause loss of appetite, so voila, another great weight loss benefit.


Violating probation for having argued with your spouse can get you prison. So, you need not have to see your spouse until you've done your time, finished with parole, and probation, as you can't contact your "victim", until you satisfied your debt to society for your transgressions of having argued with your spouse. If you don't have a spouse, you can refuse to pay a fine for a couch someone illegally dumped on your property and get 3 months in prison for not standing up fast enough when the judge expected you to take less than 15 seconds standing up to attention as did an individual in a Keene, New Hampshire courtroom.


Big Brother cares about you, your weight, and in hoping you rat out your neighbor for everything and anything, heck, just make something up.


[click here] for a re-post of "What is prison really like?"

 

Steven G. Erickson is a freelance cameraman, blogger, photographer, documentary producer, screenwriter, sometimes journalist, and can and will travel anywhere if the terms are right. His objective is to reform America's courts, creating a "People's (more...)
 
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