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Looking For The Heart

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I slightly stressed over this title of a thus far rather nebulous blog. But it is time to put words to electronic paper. Once a quick mind and a healthy cynicism bring you to a rather artificial, generated world which encompasses you on all sides until that moment when it is distinguished from the absolute wonder of realizing yourself in a living universe, sometimes the heart gets lost. What is real? What deserves imputed value, intrinsic worth? The Hubble shows me the beginning of time, all I see are amorphous blobs of light against a dark background, sort of like a 60's mod art shop, without the colors and silly designs. It means absolutely nothing.

::::::::


"Uh, earth to Hoss, come in, now what is wrong?", a voice interrupts my suddenly wandering random blogging.

"What can I tell you, Literary Device?" "It seems I am always looking for something, and, more often than not, I simply do not know what it is." I suddenly felt a little better, at least I got my predicament expressed clear enough to suit my internal editor.

"Hoss, you do realize that having a talking literary device within your blog might be conceived by some to be just a cheap gimmick?"

"Well of course it's a gimmick." I replied suddenly feeling the words of this contrived dialog begin to flow. I went on to explain that having a literary device talk in my blog was simply a privilege of exercising my literary license. "I need a Literary device to deliver what if any truth I wish to hint at here in this previously empty but now home to my electronic page chocked full of my self generated electronic symbology."

"Hoss, let me be serious for a moment.""Do you think your search for heart has anything to do with courage and overcoming fears?"

"I don't know.""Why does every pause of uncertainty have to be based in fear, courage or lack of resolve?""I'm not sure every moment is a moment of momentous decision that only lasts a split second, waste it and it's gone.""Perhaps it's like the Preacher lady was saying the other night on TV.""Sometimes you know you are chosen, you are prepared, you stand ready and are waiting, but, every door is slammed shut tight and there is not even a glimmer of light coming in the stuck closed window."

"Well Hoss, I'm just a Literary Device so who am I to argue with a lady Preacher?""But I will tell you this, sometimes life is like those Hubble pictures, just because you can't see it, doesn't mean there is nothing profound in it.""Sometimes it is just as simple as, it is there, but you can't see it.""Sometimes you see it, sometimes you don't."

I know my device was trying help, but, suddenly he sounded like a shill. selling me something. No, My device was saying one simple thing, patience my friend, all things in their time. Another line suddenly floated up to my internal editor worth transcribing here.

"It may not have been there when you wanted it, but, it was right on time!"

"Hey, who said that?"

 

I watch and consider. In this flow, some things touch me and often I may choose to respond, or not. Just because I pay attention doesn't mean subjects-objects aren't ignored. I am often amazed at how the word streams from impressions once (more...)
 

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