::::::::
I, do solemnly swear, That I royally fracked up trying to administer the presidential Oath of Office from memory.
That I embarrassed myself and the nation by getting something so simple--something memorized by every boy and girl in, like, second grade. Most important, I do solemnly swear that four years from now, When I'm swearing in Barack Obama for a second term, In fact, any time I'm swearing anybody in for anything, whether it's President of the United States or notary public, I will execute the...no, wait!...I will faithfully execute the Herculean task of doing what Justice John Paul Stevens had the good sense to do, given the gravity of the moment, by bringing an index card--which I can get a whole pack of for a buck over at The Dollar Store--on which I will have scribbled, legibly, the words to the Oath of Office, so that I don't frack up again, unnecessarily reminding the world once more that I am an appointee of former President Bush. So help me.
