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Yapping media pundits made much fun of former Democratic presidential hopeful Dennis Kucinich for admitting that he had once seen a UFO while visiting actress Shirley MacLaine's country home near Graham, Washington, before being distracted by other minutia after days of ridicule. The chattering class assumed that Kucinich thought he had encountered aliens of another world other than something in the air that was merely unidentified. Could have been anything, but our boys and girls of jabbering derision made it seem supernatural or kooky.Enough time has passed that the phenomenon can now be explained without fear of panic. We know what Kucinich saw, so it is no longer a UFO; it's known.
It was a science-fiction type of encounter, but the craft Kucinich saw was not an alien space ship coming from some far-distant galaxy to spy on us, as the pundits hooey-hooed about.
Such craft ~ roundish vehicles with a humpy tops and a saggy bottoms ~ are actually a Unified Federation of Nations special-mission craft. They are flying time-travel vessels from the future Earth's single world government and are piloted by our descendants coming from hundreds of thousands of years in the future to set right what we made wrong.
Such craft have been coming to the post-World War II time period because it is the time in which we were beginning to get too smart for our own good and put the world on a course leading to those descendants becoming the "little green men" that they are (actually they are more of a greenish gray).
But they are not men. Let me explain.
The generations starting after World War II began a scientific quest seeking to know everything and to manipulate all we know. That happened, from the little greenish-gray's perspective, but will happen, from our perspective.
It is appropriate that the Kucinich sighting was in God's Really Excellent And Tolerant (GREAT) Pacific Northwest because that is where our little greenish-grays began their marvelous adventures in 1947 with "flying saucers" reported over Washington's Mt. Rainier and around Maury Island in Puget Sound. They came to this land of great beauty because they live on a planet ~ ours in the future ~ devoid of the natural splendor of the Northwest. It seems, no one listened to Al Gore, from their perspective, or will listen to him, from our perspective, and that inattention created (creates) a world of desolation.
The Maury Island visit ended in tragedy when one of the vessels disintegrated and plunged into Puget Sound as the crew was trying to maneuver close enough to admire a family of orcas, those magnificent killer-whale beasts no longer in existence in the future earth's oceans, having gone extinct soon after Gore had concluded that we are all pig-headed dorks for not heeding his alerts on climate alteration.
The little greenish-grays are also a product of our manipulation of the normal method of reproduction ~ that is, a dude diddling a doll. We have found, from their perspective, or will, from our perspective, how to reproduce without the normal fooling around.
We did it with discoveries leading to test-tube babies, in vitro fertilization, cloning and other methods yet to come, from our perspective, but had come, from their perspective. We have found that it is possible to create an artificial sperm-like substance from the skin cells in the female ear lobe.
Women found that there was no need for a man in order to reproduce, and as the technique grew more advanced, from the greenish-gray's perspective, or will, from our perspective, women could become mothers without a biological father. Keeping disgusting dudes as far away as possible will become the normal method of procreation, from our perspective, and as the little greenish-grays well know.
But squeezing out a little one also became undesirable for finicky women, so science once again raised its too-smart-for-our-own-good head, from their perspective, and created an artificial incubator to replicate the human womb.
Therein lies the problem the little greenish-grays are coming from the future to correct.
We failed to take into consideration the scientifically proven phenomenon of evolution. When we reached a point, from their perspective, or will, from our perspective, when sexual relations between men and women were no longer necessary, physiology figuratively said that since sex is no longer needed, gender is no longer necessary, so the human body evolved into the little greenish-gray nongender creature by changing the female X chromosome and the male Y chromosome to a neutral Z chromosome.
That too-smart-for-our-own-good science then found that it could duplicate an egg-like substance from the big toe of any human ~ thanks to stem-cell research ~ to combine with the ear-lobe sperm for a perfect conception. That completed the transformation of science replacing God's design; that up-close-and-personal one-on-one intimate interactive encounter of a dude and a doll canoodling. The little greenish-grays are not men and they are not women, they are merely basic humans. And those humans have found that without sex, life is a pretty miserable existence.
They are back to this time in history to reintroduce sex into the human race. This was determined to be the perfect time because mankind had reached its physical peak and its intellectual apex without too much destruction ~ that came later, from their perspective, or will come later, from our perspective ~ at about the same time.
Our descendants are abducting our finest physical hillbillies and hillbonnies and milking them of the sexual "necessities." They want the hillpeople who haven't grown too smart for their own good and it is only the physical aspect wanted since our descendants have all the intellectual facilities needed.
A hillbonny's present-day egg is harvested and combined with the futuristic artificial sperm ~ enhanced by the Y chromosome from a hillbilly ~ then replaced in the hillbonny's womb for preliminary development. When the fetus is removed, about midway though the pregnancy, it is placed in the perfected mechanical incubator-womb ~ known as a uterubator ~ to reach maturity. A futuristic child comes into the world with present-day DNA and all the requisite chromosomes. By this procedure, futuristic youngsters will be born in their proper time frame either male or female, who can grow up and enjoy each other, just as God intended
Our descendants had tried an earlier method of reintroducing gender into the human race. They had located a perfect couple in Seattle ~ which explains why the flying-saucer phenomenon began in that area ~ that had superior intelligence, physicality, morality and spirituality tempered with the ideal amount of generosity and emotional health. They abducted the pair and began the procedure, but allowed the present-day mother to carry the fetus to term rather than harvesting it at mid-gestation. The result was a disaster, from their perspective, prompting the switch to hillbilly and hillbonny subjects. But failure for our descendants was a roaring success for our times, as it created a present-future hybrid human far from the NFL-caliber physicality they sought but vastly superior in intellect for our 20th and 21st Centuries.
And that was the genesis of Microsoft.
We know all this, but there is one thing yet to be determined: Do you believe any of this crap?
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(Author's note. This April Fools Day yarn, written several months ago, was published on Leap Day rather than April 1 so all you dorks and dorkettes wouldn't catch on too soon.)
