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Suspended MSNBC anchor, Keith Olbermann is reportedly soothing his wounds with a newfound love of the McDonald's McRib sandwich. The McRib, also known as The C*cktease of the Sandwich World, has recently been added back on the McDonald's menu after a sufficient withdrawal-inducing hiatus, where it will then be taken off, then added on, then taken off, and added on in a perpetual mindf**k cycle calibrated to increase sales and terrorize the weakest consumers among us.
Olbermann's suspension has caused great rancor in the Librul blogosphere, so much so that they have evidently forgotten that a tearful drunken orange is likely to be the next Speaker of the House. However, those close to Olbermann are also concerned with his welfare, and no not the kind that people who sit on the couch and do nothing all day long receive.
"Keith is depressed, all he does is eat those damned McRibs, I'm afraid he'll soon move on to cooking them on a spoon and injecting them into his veins!" grieves an unnamed Olbermann relative who I totally made up.
An Olbermann spokesman countered: "Keith is in a hard place now and Mr. McRib makes all the pain go away, at least he's not addicted to falafels like somebody else we know."
President Obama was drinking a 200 million dollar cup of Darjeeling tea in India and could not be reached for comment.
In other news, UFC middleweight contender, Nate "The Pretty Decent" Marquardt has visited a library for the second time in his life.
