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In some reflections on former White House press secretary Tony Snow a few days ago, I said I didn't like to dance on the graves of the dead.
That stricture does not apply to the undead, however. So Jesse Helms is fair game.
Not since before the Civil War, when pro-slavery Congressman Preston Brooks beat abolitionist Charles Sumner senseless with a cane on the floor of the Senate, has such a bad example to America's youth as Helms stalked the halls of Congress. (It's always the racists.)
During his 30 years representing North Carolina in the US Senate, Helms, who died July 4, compiled a record of unrivalled boorishness and classlessness. He feted Latin American dictators and death squad leaders, even praising their religious faith. But he refused an audience to the mother of Ryan White, the heroic teenage AIDS victim -- wouldn't even speak to her when he got stuck with her on an elevator. That would have been serving the "gay agenda." No matter that White was a hemophiliac, not a homosexual, and he contracted the disease through a bad blood transfusion. Ol' Jesse was never one to let ignorance get in the way of prejudice. Can you feel the love?
And when Carol Mosely-Braun -- the Senate's first (and so far last) African-American female member, got crosswise with him on the Confederate flag, he vowed to "sing Dixie to her until she cries," and did so -- on an elevator.
At least he didn't beat her with a cane.
Sometimes it seems like Southern Senators never die, or even fade away, so I was surprised when he retired in 2002. There were reports he had dementia, but who would have known? Or maybe with George Bush as president, he figured his services as national disgrace and embarrassment were no longer needed.
Shortly before the announcement, some outrage had prompted me to write a song about Jesse Helms, but with his retirement, there never was cause to record it or perform it much. And while I was never happier to waste the creative effort, I hate to see it be a complete waste. So here I offer Jesse Helms.
I hope Jesus sings it to him until he cries.
Jesse Helms
Who is this man named Jesse Helms?He comes on with arrogance that overwhelms.
He says that he's a true American.
I say he soils the flag that he wraps himself in.
He's Jesse Helms.
Where did he come from? How did he start?
He's the original right-wing TV crackpot,
And the words he says don't mean a thing,
Like when he said, "He's a communist, that Martin Luther King."
He's Jesse Helms.
And how'd he come by such power and might?
It wasn't from telling the wrong from the right.
He loved Somoza 'til the end.
He was segregation's champion and apartheid's friend.
He's Jesse Helms.
In the War on Drugs, nobody's tougher.
If you got AIDS or cancer, you'll just have to suffer.
He won't let marijuana help you feel well,
But if tobacco kills, he thinks that's swell.
He's Jesse Helms.
And what's the price of this kind of fame,
And spending your days making Jesus ashamed?
But his real faith is in hypocrisy.
He seems to want a monopoly.
He's Jesse Helms.
Now all you good folks from the Tar Heel State,
You showed us what makes basketball so great,
And you rang the bell of liberty.
Give us a break now, set us free
From Jesse Helms.
