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Unable to convince Bush to debate him, Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad again challenged Bush; this time to a bike race, an extreme mountain bike race. Ahmadinejad heard of Bush's love for extreme biking and made an offer for him and Bush to iron out their differences on some rough Wadi tracks.Ahmadinejad called his UAE buddy, Sheikh Saqr bin Mohammad al-Qassimi, and got permission to use the Arabian Quest Series course in Ras Al-Khaimah. He was pretty sure Bush was a bagger, but he wrote him anyway, just to see if the Great Satan would bite.
Mr. George Bush, President of the United States of America,
For some time now I have been thinking, how one can justify the undeniable contradictions that exist between gutter bunnies like I imagine you to be, and epic cob-clearers like myself. My sources tell me that, despite your constant biffing, you're just a cleanie gear masher. Many questions remain unanswered about your ability to negotiate Ras Al-Khaimah's gonzo verticals. We've all heard the reports about your endo, John boy'ed face-plants. These have prompted me to explore some of these contradictions and questions, in the hopes that it might bring about an opportunity to redress them, on the race track . . . unless you're just some poser Fred with more schmooz than bodge.
Peace to him who follows the rightfully guided,
Mahmud Ahmadinejad
President of the Islamic Republic of Iran
Bush wrote him back:
Mr. Mahmud Ahmadinejad, President of the Islamic Republic of Iran,
Obviously I cannot accept your challenge. I have too much important work to take time to come to your dirty little track, but I wanted to write you to tell you that I don't appreciate the cracks about my bike riding abilities. When you ride hard on a mountain bike, sometimes you fall.* It has a mind-clearing * effect. You come to America and I'll show you a hill that would choke a mule.* We've got thrills, spills - you name it. By the way, thanks for stepping up as my go-to guy, I mean, you know, after Kim Jong's rockets petered out.
I am the eggman, I am the walrus
Coo coo ca choo,
Tu-tu-tu baw, tu-tu-tu baw, tu-tu-tu baw, tu-tu-tu baw, tu-tu-tu baw
George Bush
President of the United States of America
* actual Bush quotes
