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I know where bin Laden is.
He is at the Gulf of Tonkin, telling us the communists fired on us.
He is accidentally erasing eighteen-and-a-half minutes of the Nixon tape.
He is pointing the finger at Oswald.
He is showing us the weapons of mass destruction.
He is declaring Bush the winner TWICE.
He is at Kent State shooting those naughty kids.
He is refusing to bargain with terrorists as he delivers arms to the Ayatollah.
He is "out of the loop" about Iran-Contra.
He is not having sex with Monica Lewinsky.
He is being greeted as a liberator in Iraq, where he is also turning the corner.
He is praising Clarence Thomas as the most qualified Supreme Court candidate.
He is choosing Dan Quayle as a serious running-mate.
Bin Laden is telling you to listen to your leaders. They never lie, do they?
