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How to talk right about whisky kilts and golf

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Whiskies have always been fiercely strong-tasting and although nowadays original stuff would be sought after by malt snobs and marketed as smoky flavoured etc., at first, nobody apart from the desperate and the Scots could actually drink them.

That is when blending came into its own and they found a way to cancel out the harsh flavours so that a soft southern tongue could cope. It travelled the globe following British conquests.

I miss the Americans with their brave trousers, who I used to see in St Andrews, as a student. We could nudge each other and shake our heads thinking that we would never be so conspicuous on foreign shores. We would then fly off to Spain and eat fish and chips and get pissed in kilts.

I was an Army brat, my father wore a kilt every day. I was disappointed that no one else did , although they are now thought pretty cool. Prince Charles though, wears one and sits with his knees together, and this always looks stupid.

You sit with your legs apart and punch the kilt down to cover your modesty. Never, ever, sit with your knees together. Try it and you 'll quickly see why.

And yes, you do wear something under the modern short kilt, you cannot both go commando-style and sit with your legs apart. Again, try it and you will definitely see why.

 

'Hamish ' is an antiwar writer socialist- scientist and musician living in Scotland.

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and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.

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