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House Training: Waxman Threatens Blue Dogs with Rolled-Up Newspaper

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Will he follow through?

When you are House-training your blue dog, it is important to be firm, consistent, and willing to apply a rolled-up newspaper when necessary. This is why House Energy and Commerce Committee Chair Henry Waxman must follow through on his threat to bypass his committee with health care reform legislation if recalcitrant "blue dog" Democrats don't stop playing the politics of delay. As The Hill reports, Waxman said that the seven blue dogs on his committee threaten to join with committee Republicans to "eviscerate" health care reform, and insisted: "I won't allow them to hand over control of our committee to Republicans."

Bad blue dog! Bad, bad blue dog!

I sincerely hope that Waxman will follow through on his threat to bypass the committee if blue dogs continue stalling on health care reform. If he does not follow through by applying the rolled-up newspaper as threatened, then his blue dogs will not be properly House-trained, and may even think that they are the masters of the House. This simply will not do! If their disobedience continues with such actions as pooping or peeing on the floor of the House, then the rolled-up newspaper should be applied again and followed by rubbing their little noses in it and putting them out in the yard until they learn how to behave themselves. Not to worry, though: once the rolled-up newspaper has been robustly applied a few times, merely showing it to them should be enough to make them obey. Then they can be trained to roll over, to play dead, and to sit up and beg for doggie-treats.

Good blue dog!

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Mark C. Eades
http://www.mceades.com

 

Mark C. Eades is an American writer and educator currently based in Shanghai, China.

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