The vast number of candidates for this prestigious award makes narrowing the field to a single winner extremely difficult. It is only with the most careful study and comparison, research and contemplation, even prayer, that we are able to arrive upon the most worthy recipient. As one may surmise, the purpose of the glass bellybutton is to enable the owner to see more clearly. And so it is that we look for the person most in need of better vision.
Thus we proudly present this year's First Annual Glass Bellybutton Award to Barack Obama, for his acceptance of the Nobel Peace Prize, while simultaneously sending 30,000 troops to the hinterlands of Afghanistan, where they are unwanted, unneeded, and will remain, on the U.S. taxpayer's dime, as mass murderers to ensure that a trans-Afghan pipeline can be installed for Big Oil Interests, which continue to run America.
(We realize that while the Glass Bellybutton, properly inserted in the navel, will likely help Obama's vision, it may not give him either courage or the body parts he lacks. But since this renown winner does well with words, we humbly offer a few of those, which we hope he will comprehend: There is no way to Peace; Peace is The Way.)