Excerpts - From a Cat's Diary, and From A Dog's Diary

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Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:  Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor. 

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.  Had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity! 

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. 

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of mytormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must trythis again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.  I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.  The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released --and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!  The bird has got to be an informant.  I observe him communicating with the guards regularly.  I am certain that he reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe......for now....