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By John E. CareyPeace and Freedom
February 4, 2007
Ten years ago this weekend I was on the saddest journey a man can endure. I traveled to Pittsburgh to help bury my 16 year old niece and Godchild Ellie.
Ellie was spectacular. Gymnast, student, actor, organizer, daughter, sister, friend. And best of all niece and Godchild.
But I am, sadly, a case of "Ellie I Hardly Knew Ye." As a child, Ellie spent some of her formative years near Cleveland, Ohio. This is where I also grew up. This is the heartland of America if there is such a thing. My town was called Rocky River and Ellie, I think, largely grew up in Westlake on the shores of Lake Erie.
During that period I was in the U.S. Navy and far from home much of the time. And because I didn't give enough of myself; I didn't give the only real gift one can give - presence I am diminished because I didn't know Ellie, her Mother and my sister Pam, and their entire family, better.
But even though I didn't not know Ellie well I admired her and saw joy in her. Tremendous joy.
One summer Ellie had a trampoline and she bounded so enthusiastically and blithely on that thing that she brought a smile to everyone's face.
She broke a few bones too. But nobody seemed to mind. Ellie's riotous good humor was infectious. We all just shared her leaps and bounds as if we were her age and had her gift of boundless merriment.
I took my dog, an old Basset Hound, down to Pittsburgh for a visit and Ellie got up before dawn each morning to accompany us on our walks. Ellie looked as happy to be out in the chilly morning air as that hound. There is a love of life, a joie de vivre, that is special and alive and electric in some people: and that was Ellie.
That joie de vivre is something very kinetic and special. I see it in my Thai friend "W" also. The spirit is filled with delighful magic.
I've asked people how they define joie de vivre. A psychologist friend said, after thinking for a moment, "Most of us function at only a small fraction of our capacity to love. The ones with 'joie de vivre' embrace life to the fullest and live and love whole heartedly."
That was sure Ellie.
We miss you Ellie: and nobody misses you more than your Mom and Dad and your sisters. But we all miss you and we all know that you have been delighting the saints and angels since you left us without you.
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