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Everyone knows for a fact that elitists are out to ruin the good old US of A. Elitists are tree-hugging, French-loving, latte-sipping snobs who look down their liberal noses on Chuck Norris movies, the Grand Old Opry, and cultural events like NASCAR. Yes sir, if American-hating elitists ever had their way the U.N flag would replace Old Glory, George W. Bush would be indicted as a war criminal at the World Court, and Barack Hussein Obama would carry out his secret plan to get "Sean Hannity’s America" off the air. Thankfully, there’s a sure-fire test to identify elitists so that they can be exposed before they can cause too much trouble: Answer the following questions to see if you or someone you know is a closet elitist:1) Can you down at least 12 shots or twelve beers in less than an hour and still bowl better than Barack Obama?
2) Would your wife or girlfriend prefer to stay at home and iron your shirts while the two of you watch reruns of "The Dukes of Hazzard" than have you take her across state lines to the nearest drive-in to see a George Clooney picture?
3) Do you resent the fact that Muslim fanatics housed at Guantanamo appear to have more amenities than the trailer park where you and your in-laws reside?
4) Do you identify with the mountain men in the film "Deliverance"?
5) Would you like the Bush administration to extend waterboarding to include smart-alecky liberal bloggers, political satirists, and other deviants
If you answered "yes" to all five questions: Congratulations, you are not part of the axis-of-elites. However, if you answered "no" to one or more question, then your I.Q. may be in danger of deviating from the mean. Please watch Fox News and then take the test again until you get it right!
