Subject: Bush Liebary
The George W. Bush Presidential liebary is now in the planning stages.
You'll want to be the first at your corporation to make a contribution to this great man's legacy.
1. The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction.
2. The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you can't remember anything.
3. The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don't have to even show up to get your certificate of accomplishment.
4. The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don't let you in.
5. The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don't let you out.
6. The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room (which no one has been able to find).
7. The Don Rumsfeld Room where you get to pull the strings of GOP-approved generals and admirals.
8. The Iraq War Room where, after you complete your first tour, they make you go back for a second, third, fourth, and sometimes a fifth tour. Be sure to visit the embedded flower shop to purchase some "welcoming flowers" (all proceeds go to Bush cronies).
9. The Afghanistan War Room, with it's revolving door leading into the Iraq War
Room. Don't forget that, in a dimly-lit alcove, you can buy heroin from Taliban vendors to support the perpetual need for a war on terror.
10. The Iran War Room (still unfinished) with files of unused arguments explaining why it's good for American defense corporations.
11. The Mercenary Corporations Room where you can pay ten times the prevailing rate for "protection," because, Lord knows, we wouldn't want to waste the money on failed policies promoting health, education and American jobs.
12. The Perpetual War Room where exhibits explain why mercenaries are more willing to do what you tell them than draftees would be. The quaint "customary" protections of law are suspended in this room.
13. The Voodoo Economics Room where extensive mathimatical equations (with an obscure middle section that includes the statement "and here a miracle occurs") demonstrate that reducing taxes on the already-wealthy while increasing government outlays exclusively to defense contractors is building the American economy.
14. The Fox News Room where truths are fabricated and gatuitously handed out, concerns of the general populace are conveniently ignored, and polarizing figures are glorified.
15. The Airport Men's Room, where you can meet some of your favorite Republican Senators.
16. The Dick Cheney Gun Room complete with shooting gallery and GOP-staffed first-aid station (beer is included in your required minimum entry "donation").
17. And while we're talking about medical issues, don't let the little lady forget to visit the on-site OB/GYN offices, where GOP staffers (due to outsourcing of actual medical practitioners) can "practice their love of women."
Disclaimer: the liebary is not responsible for your medical expenses for "services" from these partnerships with private for-profit operations housed within the liebary. You will be screened for medical insurance coverage before you can be allowed to enter.
18. The Dick Cheney Conference Room, in the famous undisclosed location, where you are not allowed to sign in and others are not allowed to see or hear you.
19. The Karl Rove Room where, officially, "nothing" is done.
20. Sandwiched between the Rove Room and the Cheney Conference Room is the K-Street Project Gift Shop where you can buy (or just steal) an election.
21. The Outsourcing Room where you can select someone you don't like and have his/her job sent overseas.
22. The Secret Recordification Room where you can secretly recordify your friends' and families' conversations and have them arrested as suspected terrorists for at least a few years.
23. The entire basement will house the complete collection of missing emails from legally "sensitive" periods of the Bush Administration. It remains "off limits" but you can wink at it. Heh, heh, heh....
24. Last, but not least, there will be an entire floor devoted to a 5/8 scale model of the President's ego (a double-locked back room will attempt to contain the President's repressed guilt and shame).
To highlight the President's accomplishments, the museum will have an electron microscope to help you locate them.
Coming Soon.... a new addition to the liebary: the right-wing!
